周杰伦--简单爱
说不上为什么
我变得很主动
若爱上一个人
什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布
对你依依不舍
连隔壁邻居都猜到
我现在的感受
河边的风
在吹着头发飘动
牵着你的手
一阵莫名感动
我想带你
回我的外婆家
一起看着日落
一直到我们都睡着
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我想带你骑单车
我想和你看棒球
想这样没担忧
唱着歌一直走
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱可不可以简简单单没有伤害
你靠着我的肩膀
你在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活
我爱你你爱我
想简！简！单！单！爱...
想简！简！单！单！爱...

This. Song. Rocks.

I thought I could leave my blog dead, but no.

Recently I reverted back to Linkin Park (have I told you this?)

I have posted these lyrics before, but decided to post them again, because they are meaningful for me.

Carousel--Linkin Park

She can’t hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguise behind her lies
And at night she cries away her pride
With eyes shut tight, staring at her inside
All her friends know why she can’t sleep at night
All her family asking if she’s all right
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
But all she’s gotta do is stop kidding herself

She can only fool herself for so long (3x)
She can only fool herself

I’m too weak to face me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me

When it comes to how to live his life
He can’t be told
Says he’s got it all under control
Thinks he knows it’s not a problem he’s stuck with
But in reality, it’d be a problem to just quit
An addict and he can’t hold the reigns
The pain is worse ‘cause his friends have it the same
Tries to slow down the problem he’s got
But can’t get off the carousel
Until he makes it stop

He can only fool himself for so long (3x)
He can only fool himself

Chorus

Try to fly with the wings I gave you
Try to do what you believe and I’ll save you

Chorus (4x)

And I am sorry, but the Physics elective really isn't what I expected it to be. I mean, what I expected is like notes and more knowledge or at least particle physics explained more clearly with the teacher's help, but...oh god.

I want to cry man. Why is it so screwed up?

We go to the elective to learn and absorb, not to give out whatever tiny little bit of knowledge we have. Perhaps he wants us to seek out the knowledge ourselves and learn ourselves. But how efficient can it get?

Still have not decided on what to do for Physics elective project yet. We are kinda screwed.

• Math Assignment 1 (I have absolutely NO godamn motivation to do it at all)
  
• Chemistry Assignment 1 (Check for mathematical errors, which I am bound to have as it includes heavenly powers)
• Biology Assignment 1 (Thanks for making it point form)
• Chinese (7 questions and sentence-making)
• English Project (may need to email Ms Lam for help on brushing up my English skills)
  
• Math Mini-Project (we are TOTALLY screwed)
  
• Math project (not so screwed)
  
• Physics elective Project (feeling somewhat screwed, depending on chance and probability of whether we are the first group to present or not)
  
• Programming Assignment (making it now, expecting to screw up the programming part)

God.

To like or not like holidays, that is the question.

May change blogskin.

The wonders of the heavenly ice chocolate.

Yan Sheng also agrees that it is nicer.

Ice chocolateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD

Ice mochaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XD

Blogging for the sake of showing how much the ice chocolate rocks. I just love it so so so so so much! It's like looking at a very very very very very cute cat/kitten >.<

Titled as so because I am uncertain how long this post will end.

School holidays. 4 weeks. Stay at home, no homework to do. No homework to do, become a lot of time. A lot of time, start to think about random stuff. Think about random stuff, then you link up and think more. Think more until your brain cannot take it, die.

What do humans need?

Scientifically, humans need oxygen, food and water to stay alive.

Psychologically, humans need support. What kind of support? Depends for people.

Some people, just need a few words from their friends, to realise that people acknowledge.

Some people, need lots of words of logical reasoning, to realise they still have the reason to survive.

In short, it depends.

Realised that people around me are all confused. Including me too.

Confused about themselves, their friends, their lives, their points of view, etc etc.

Well, we are confused, and depressed. For unknown reasons (i.e it is very irritating)

Sometimes, thinking about it more will let you get what you really want out of it. Sometimes, thinking about it more saps your energy literally instead: You get more confused in turn.

To quote Yan Sheng: It's part of growing up.

To briefly quote primary six teachers: Your high school life is a significant part of your life.

Primary school. We think the world is the way we see it as. Apparently, the world is never that easy to see, and never that easy to define, anyway.

To quote Amanda--nothing makes sense in this world anymore

The thing about truth, as I always believed, is, well true, but in some cases crappy.

Some friends asked me to think it out over a week or so, and advices me that "If you think it should let it go, then let it go."--rational and/or/but crappy truth

Sometimes we are so confused, we rather people around us to just shut the hell up, and don't say anything at all. Sometimes, we rather talk to things that don't talk to us at all. It's like...it understands everything you say, and even if it doesn't, or it disagrees, it won't say anything.

Explains why I treat soft toys as humans, I guess.

What is the definition of "care"? How exactly do you care for someone? I will not define it here, it is far too diverse for me to briefly describe in one or two sentence. What I know is that, in the process of caring and/or being cared, you hurt and/or get hurt.

Consequences of this care can be catastrophic, in some depressive cases, like the ultraviolet catastrophe.

These days, I seem to relate life with physics concepts.

It's all about the damned word "entropy".

People think about whether they should be thankful for the world or not. I say it's about general relativity. Different people experience different things, thus have different views of life, have different definitions/conditions for being thankful.

In this world we live in, we often have to wear multiple personalities to suit different people around us, different situations.

As we constantly change the mask, we slowly become used to it, and in the end, we don't know we interchanged from which to which, and subsequently, don't know what is your true self.

Someone says it's like quantum mechanics-->wave/particle duality.

For me, the definition of "my true self" is blurred way out of vision for long. Way too long already.

Will this day come, when your true self is this multiple-value mask? Being you means being interchangeable?

I don't know, I don't think I really wish that to happen...I think my true self is only at home.

Is this how paranoid I have become of this world?

With my state of mind right now, I cannot sleep.

Die by confusion, I will.

By the way, Lianhe Zaobao had this article about symptoms of mild depression. I fit into all.

http://health.zaobao.com/pages8/psycho080622.shtml

Apparently the symptoms had been in me for almost 2 years already, thus I do not bother about it at all. xD

I am very sure something is haunting me. Just that I don't know what.

(Credits to Vivian for listening to me rant, scream etc, and in turn, write this poem for me)

Bye...

Oooooo…I’m leaving for good,
It’s not like u can make me stay
But still I’ve gotta’ tell you all this...
Even if it breaks my heart

It ain’t anyone’s fault,
It’s just another case of mistrust

Stop trying to pull me back
Stop trying to keep me here
Stop trying to break my heart
When it’s already in a million pieces, my dear

I forgave you for your
Insensitivity
Ur negligence
And absence

In September, u promised me the world
In November, u probably forgot all about it
In December, when I was dying inside
You promised it again, yet it was disregarded

I’m not trying to make life
Difficult for all of u,
You all dun wanna see me like this
I know it’s hard but, it’s just me

It’s scary I know
But I’m also scared,
To lose you, to mistrust, or fear,
To someone else

Over thinking, I am,
But I just can’t find a way to trust
You again
With you just not by my side,

Just seeing you with someone else,
I walk away, with tears in my eyes,
And you just stay there,
Right by her side

Sometimes, it isn’t what you do
Sometimes it isn’t what you say
It’s just the words never uttered,
The care never shown

Sometimes I just need support,
A hug
A few words
That I really need,

It isn’t the ranting about your own life,
It isn’t the preaches that I have to be strong
It isn’t the tears that I have to hide
It isn’t the smile I’m forced to wear

Why can’t you all just understand?
I want out
No amount of pleases and ‘I beg you’ s
Are gonna hold me back this time

No amount of promises, and ‘I swear’
Is gonna keep me back this time
Cos I’ve already lost faith in such promises and words
Cos they’ve been broken all the time

Bye...


My thoughts in compression.

I'm too tired to think anything (except the Germany match against Turkey and reading math and science). So stop asking me questions, I am confused enough.

Those feelings I have when I feel like ripping the insides of me. Those thoughts that race in my mind when I feel being pressed down from the inside, right on my heart.

Compressed into a poem.

There.

Last time it's sleep at 9pm, wake up at 10pm for dinner. Sleep at 11pm, wake up at 2.45am to switch on laptop for football. Sleep, then wake up at 5am to switch off laptop. Sleep at around 6am, then wake up at 9am.

Today's one is somewhat epic.

I slept from 1am-2.45am. Watched the whole match, then lied down on the bed after reading the newspaper at 6.15am. Closed my eyes (doesn't mean I slept).

Opened my eyes at 6.30am. The sky is getting brighter.

Closed my eyes, opened them at 7am. I rather go to school, the sky seems so nice.

Closed my eyes, opened them at 7.30am. 他妈的根本就没有睡到。

Damn lor, never sleep at all. Argh.

Now I look like someone who's...I don't know how to say. Urgh.

EDIT: Fevers fluctuate for me. Now it's 38.8. This morning it was 36.4. Damn it, I just slept for an hour=.= then it came back liao.

Croatia 1 -- Turkey 1 (Extra 30 minutes)

Croatia's goal was made at the 29th minute of the extra 30 minutes. But it's not the end.

Turkey scored a goal on the 31st minute (30 min + 1 min).

Penalty.

Croatia 1 -- Turkey 3

Apparently out of 4 penalty shoots for Croatia, 1st and 3rd one did not get in. Only the 2nd one scored. 4th shoot was blocked by Rustu, the goalkeeper for Turkey.

26th June 2008. Germany vs Turkey. I dare not imagine.

By the way I did not sleep at all.

As the holidays are ending, I get more depressed.

I swore my imagination almost killed me. Or was it imagination?

I don't know.

Apparently a phone call would help I guess, but I can't, so damn it.

Now I am left by myself, till the next day. Can I survive?

Oh well, if only I can fall asleep, that is.

Woohoo!

I did not wake up and watch for nothing!

Germany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Portugal 2 -- Germany 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The newspapers are wrong! Ha! (Right in their face XD)

Only thing now is that I have great panda eyes. Oh sheesh.

Seems like papayas are good for sore throat.

First goal: Schweinsteiger
Second goal: Miroslav Klose
Third goal: Michael Ballack

Stupid, go to school at 12.30pm just to buy a pair of spike shoes. Gah.

EDIT: Oh lol, saw Mr Foo in canteen at about 10.30am. So went home at 11.20am, reached home at 12pm. When I was trying the shoes...

"Joanne, your feet so small ar?"--Mr Foo

O.O

My mum always said my feet very big lor. Then realise Rachel has a shoe size of 39 O.O. Mine is only 37. Zzz.

Slept until 3pm because of fever+sore throat+cough+flu.

3.27pm: Now it's 38.8. Lalala.

3.37pm: Now it's still 38.8. It's a constant! O.O

What to do now? Like this I also screwed up, what to do now? Zzz.

----------------
Now playing: Nightwish - Planet Hell
via FoxyTunes

I already uninstalled Audition. Yay me.

So bored I am trying out the online tests for the "Which brain do you use more" thingy.

One says I'm left-brained, another said I'm right. The speaker last time showed me that I'm...right-brained right? Left over right means you right brain right? Never mind.

http://scienceline.org/2007/10/29/ask-hsu-spinning-girl-right-left-brain-hemispheres/

Somewhat enlightening?

I thought it's kinda pointless to find out which side I am, but it just seems so appealing. Don't ask me why.

Yay another one says I'm right-brained. Okay this is really sian :/

Left.

Optimism test? I sure die.
48%. AHAHAH.

Ok I'm not bothered to anymore.

Finally saw cats that are not black and yellow. Quite a lot of them. And I think they like me. O.O

Why? WHY?!

France and Romania, 0-0?!

*screams*

My mum should have woke me up for the Holland vs Italy match. Thought it will be totally scary. Oh whatever.

Spain vs Russia...I won't say who will win, since I had not seen Russia's power before (or not remembering seeing its power before).

Assuming Russia is a weaker team like Switzerland, I will say 2-0 or 2-1.

Greece vs Sweden...I won't say anything also. Greece in the Fifa World Cup 2006 had some kinda strength, only got defeated by stronger teams (I won't bother remembering which). Sweden is supposed to be a "stronger" team, at least when compared to weaker teams like Switzerland.

If I have to choose, I may say...1-1? Or maybe 2-2? 1-1 will be more likely, if it is a draw.

Realised that we are all bored to the extreme.

Sigh.

My mum is watching this German TV channel which talks about some German kids going over to China for I-don't-know-what. And and and and and, they kept using Jay Chou's music as the background music!!!!!

Ok now not.

Numbing The Pain--Heaven Shall Burn
"Dreams torn to pieces, broken like glass
Hope faded away, withered like leaves
Not knowing is blessing, ignorance the only protection

Nothing is numbing my pain
The fragments of my faith
Became the blade in my hand
Just darkness my eyes see
Pushed me to the end of all dead-end-streets

A curse - cannot lie to myself
I'm doomed - cannot silence my heart
Fear is the tool, conformity our medicine

How can I smile as this age dies, like everybody else
Dancing around the fire, that burns this world

Cannot bend down, I would just break
I hate myself for playing their game
Parents poison their children, never teach them to question
If it only wasn't for this certainty in me
I am a giant in their tiny world"

Architects of the Apocalypse--Heaven Shall Burn
"Greed and addiction drowned their pity
Washed away their thoughts of compassion and regret
A world left wounded, slaved and raped
Your paradise is hell for your descendants

Cathedrals of justice in a kingdom of hypocrisy
Castles of self-righteousness built on graves

Masses kept in forlorn, nations laid to waste
The dynamo of northern golden age
Darkened our future, blinded by greed
Sold your fate to the highest price

I don't believe in you!
You are the enemy!
A rush into our doom, as if your God came down
And cures all failure"

The Dream is Dead--Heaven Shall Burn
"One voice, one power, the people's will arose,
Slew the tyrant and burned his castles, brought down
A supreme blooded pestilence once more

Under the same dawn advocates of wealth and freedom spread their words like prophets do
Bring them down! Down to their knees! Down to this greed!

Fooling us again, while our screams not even silenced
This rage has been a weapon, but our hope will bring the doom
So many times I prayed:, so many times I died!

We burst the chains
And now we should be on our own, but the fear of tomorrow
Will drive you to their arms again

The golden age we're celebrating creeps out of the womb of the same old lie
A child of tyranny and hatred
A heaven for the chosen few"

Black Tears--Heaven Shall Burn
" When I'm in this state of mind,
I'm wishing I was blind,
Sometimes life is more than pain to me

I feel the power of my grief,
Death would be such a relief,
All the secrets that I hide would die with me

Depression is my only friend,
Will this torture never end?
Let me carry on to dreamer's sky

I keep crying in my dreams,
Can you hear my endless screams?
When I fade away, I fade away...

This fluid on my cheek,
It drains me, I get weak
My heart is cold and bleak
Black blood, black tears.
Black tears, black tears.

Life is like a masquerade,
In dept to myself, but I can't pay,
Soon I'll call it all a day, away

I never felt what you call guilt,
I still believe "Do what thou wilt",
My sorrow will destroy the world I've built

This fluid on my cheek,
It drains me, I get weak
My heart is cold and bleak
Black blood, black tears.
Black tears, black tears."

Lazy to quote more.

Godamn laptop's wireless adapter was screwed.

Used someone's laptop in school to download the drivers, installed them, then fix.=.=

Went to school at 8am, then went to IMM at 9am, then came back to school at 10am, and still in school now.

Sian.

As I was crossing the road, I almost got hit by a car, but whatever.

Yes Germany 2-0, won Poland, woohoo!

Both goals were made by Podolski! Go Podolski!

Did Miroslav Klose dye his hair black=.=

And Michael Ballack looks slightly weird to me now. Never mind.

Still, Germany WON! WOOHOO!

Q1: Do you like your present school?
...In which aspect.

Q2: What do you want the most now?
The most? Now? Well, can I not say here, that is?

Q3: Who is the closest person to you in your school?
No one in particular? But the closest group would be the family tree xD

Q4: Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Natural human instincts says yes, but "forgive and forget"! Also, I try my best not to hate my friends...I hope >.<

Q5: Are you afraid of death?
If and only if I have not live my life to the fullest. Now I personally think it's 92% potential energy reached.

Q6: What is your goal this year?
To get >4.2 CAP for Semester 2, which may be...possible?

Q7: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Believe in the idea of it or the probability of it? They are two different things, mind you.

Q8: Do you believe in eternal love?
For someone like me, yes, what do you think==

Q9: Do you think boyfriends are a necessity?
Necessity? No. Even Primary 3 kids know humans survive with oxygen, food and water (Sorry, that it has to be so scientifically sound yet so...cruel.)

Q10: What do you enjoy doing the most?
Well, to...know that you are still breathing? Even though at times you wished you had not, there are much more times you thanked yourself and your family and friends that you had.

Q11a: Have you ever done anything for your admirer?
...I guess so? Admire in what sense? Respect or love or...fangirl?

Q11b: Have you ever done anything for your admiree?
...Refer to Q11a.

Q12: What feeling do you hate most?
Currently I hate the feeling of standing on the line, in between slacking and non-slacking. I swear I could not stand 5 minutes of slacking.

Q13: Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
I try to, though I tend to neglect people at times...Sorry >.<

Q16: Do you find life meaningless?
Life=42, dude. Or, if you don't like 42, then 9X6 in base 13!

Q17: What do you live for?
Live for the fact that this is the one and only life I possibly have?

Q18: Who do you talk most to in school?
The family tree =D

Q19: What book are you currently reading?
Math Wonders by...I am not bothered to switch on the lights and see=.=

Q20:[Edited]Would you rather a real world of infinite impossibilities, or a fantasy world of infinite possibilities?
This question is weird, I know...But I would choose a real world of infinite impossibilities, because infinite impossibilities implies infinite possibilities too! (Induction MA4105 or MA4107) XD


Yay!

I changed my blogskin two times in a day!

Well I have my reasons, do not stop me. Bleah XD

What Tan Yong Ying Means

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

I feel like I'm cursed, or simply unlucky.

Or maybe I deserved it from the starting already?

Am I that unfilial a daughter?

Or it is simply you? Simply me?

"It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they’ve played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never bee a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It’s easier to run replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"

It describes me somehow. After being a Linkin Park fan for so long, the lines

"It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"

finally made me realise the significance of this song in my life.

I am changing blogskin soon.

Your Call--Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
(Like when we would meet)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take.
While you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's yours? What's yours, What is yours)
[ Your Call lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
X4
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause
I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)


I demand you to listen to this song, like now. XD

Sian lar.

Faraday exco stuff tomorrow, track training on Friday.

Then track training on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

...

Holidays are not holidays anymore. The fact that I am going to school, but not seeing the people I see every morning...sucks.

I woke up this morning to realise I just had a freaky dream, far beyond my imagination. I can't bring myself to talk about it at all here, because it's just way out of logic.

Anyway, got tagged by Su Hang D=<

1. Su Hang
2. (Ting)^2
3. Amanda
4. Josephine
5. Vivian Lau
6. Tricia
7. Yan Sheng
8. Wei Ren
9. Timothy
10. Chester (Ng, not Bennington)
    
11. Ian Foo
12. Gayathri
13. Yu Jia
14. Natalie
15. Hilda
16. Aisyah
17. Shahid
18. Charles Wong
19. Spencer
20. Zikri
    

01.How did you meet #14?
Natalie. First day of school lorh.

02. What would you do if you didnt meet #1?
Su Hang. I would probably mourn for myself and my daughters every single day, because she started the family with (Ting)^2!

03. What if #9 and #20 dated?
Timothy and Zikri. The day they date each other is the day we die due to meteorite striking Earth.

04. Describe #3.
AMANDA!!! Hyper like siao! Someone who I can confide to sometimes :)

05. Is #8 attractive?
Wei Ren. Need I say more?

06. Describe #7.
Yan Sheng. A somewhat-rare-to-be genius of a kind, not exactly nerdy, not exactly geeky. Very influential, especially to me, as you can see how greatly he contributes to me liking Linkin Park and Mathematics.

07. Know of any of #12's family members?
Gayathri. Yes! Her twin sister! XD

08. What will you do if #18 confesses that he/she likes you?
Charles Wong. Tell him there's someone called Ang Yan Sheng of M08201, then slap myself, for this is impossible, which means I am possibly dreaming.

09. What language does #15 speak?
Hilda. She speaks...what I speak?

10. Who is #9 going out with?
Timothy. How would I know/ Why would (should) I tell you?

11. How old is #16?
Aisyah. Same same!

12. When is the last time you spoke to #13?
Yu Jia. Spoke? In camp perhaps.

13. Who is #2's favourite band/singer?
(Ting)^2. w-inds. / Keita Tachibana lorh. (Gets Yan Sheng to say "Keita" while floating around XD)

14. You ever date #4?
Josephine. ...Need I say more?

15. Would you ever date #1?
Su Hang. She already has Uly, I already have YS, so what is your problem?! (*^#*^&(*^(*&%&^@%#

16. Is #19 single?
Spencer. Yes. I think.

17. What's #10 last name?
This question is damn fitting (and necessary). Ng, not Bennington.

18. Would you ever be in a relationship with #11?
Ian Foo. Please refer to question 15.

19. School of #3?
AMANDA! NUSH! XD

20. Where does #6 live?
Tricia. Near the school lorh.

21. Whats your favourite thing about #5?
Vivian Lau. The fact that she's in Chinese Orchestra and gets free entertainment every Friday and has 2 drum sticks to whack Yan Sheng.

You're tagged! :D

1. Vivian Lau
2. (Ting)^2
3. AMANDA!
4. Tricia
5. Josephine
6. Lim Pin (I know you read my blog, so XD)
   

One thing I almost forgot to mention.

Yan Sheng was singing the Gatsby song in the phone that day, and I told my mum the story when the commercial was showed again. The first thing she said was (translated into English), "Did he buy the product and spray it on himself also?"

I instantly ROFLMAO-ed, literally.

Godammit.

1. HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
My Spirit Will Go On--Dragonforce
Duh! Of course it will go on! I have motivation! (Hope it comes to me today in school...Sighs)

2. WILL YOU GET FAR IN LIFE?
Pieces--w-inds.
What? My life will go in pieces? Oh no?!

3. HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
Degrees of Loneliness--WAWA
...Eh?

4. WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
The Replacement (5th May 2008)--the mrbrown show
WHAT?! THE REPLACEMENT WILL MARRY ME?! HUH?!
...Foreigner? Foreign talent beer auntie?! *screams*

5. WHAT IS YOUR BEST FRIENDS THEME SONG?
Repentance--Dream Theater
...That's just simply weird.

6. WHAT IS THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?
Let Me Dance--Lexy
I can't dance very well...

7. WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE?
Rnw@Y--Linkin Park
Runaway? I do not run away from school...Though I do run a lot in school...

10. WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND?
Starfire--Dragonforce
"Dark night with a glimmering light in the distance up ahead
In the forest they dwell with a misty spell no one heard what once was said"
...So I will see light in the distance? Stars?
:)

11. TO DESCRIBE YOUR GRANDPARENTS?
Crank That--Soulja Boy
...
WHAT THE HELL?!
Even the Spongebob video of Crank That doesn't fit!

12. HOW IS YOUR LIFE GOING?
(Sic)--Slipknot
My life is going metal? That will be good...
"You can't kill me, 'cause I'm already inside you."
WOAH. WOOHOO!

13. WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
No Make Up--Son Sang Mi
No make up? I don't mind...

14. HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
夜的第七章--周杰伦
...Twilight? A chapter in the night?

15. WILL YOU HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
All The Things She Said--T.A.T.U
Huh? Who said what affect me happy blah?!

16. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF YOU?
BAN! BAN!--Love Machine
WTF?! My friends ban me? From what? @.@

17. DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER YOU?
No More Sorrow (Live)--Linkin Park
"Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!"
They lust after me? Oh no :O

18. HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
So Beautiful--Dashboard Confessional
"You've got your inside lines
But you're never happy with what you've got"
...I am never happy? Kinda true sometimes...:X

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
La Campanella--Franz Liszt
Slit my wrist to the notes of La Campanella (trusts me, it'll be fun)?
Huh?

20. WILL YOU EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
Happiness--Super Junior
...So I will just be happy like siao?

21. WHAT SONG WILL YOU STRIP TO?
Take My Hand--Simple Plan
"The city sleeps and we're lost in the moment
Another kiss says we're lying on the pavement"
O.O

22. IF A MAN IN A VAN OFFERED YOU CANDY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Vocalise--Rachmaninoff
Sounds like a great idea to take out your violin and start irritating him with this piece...XD

23. WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER THINK OF YOU?
Excursions Op. 20, No. 4--Barber (Classical piece=.=)
...We'll be going on excursions forever? Eh?!

24. WHAT IS YOUR DEEP DARK SECRET?
Op. 25 No. 6, Etude in G-sharp Minor--Chopin
I promised to say my deep dark secret to someone only...So there!

25. WHAT IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY'S THEME SONG?
First Touch--Yanni
Right, first touch and we know we are enemies? I guess so?

26. WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?
The worst day ever--Simple Plan
"And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again"
I do not feel like that every single day....O.O

27. WHAT SONG WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR WEDDING?
Walking in the Air--Nightwish
" We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly"
...Sound like a nice piece?

There. Done.
Please highlight the words if necessary. I am not bothered to edit it any longer.

Don't ask me why my post title is so weird.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA! XD

Slacked through the whole day today. Wasted 3-4 hours looking through blogskins. Some were really awesome, while some simply sucks.

Meow.

People change a lot, and really a lot, in a very short time.

Writing my life story with my blood and tears

* Name: Tan Yong Ying
* School: NUS High School of Math & Science
* Class: M07106, M08206, M09304
* House: Faraday

周杰伦--简单爱
说不上为什么
我变得很主动
若爱上一个人
什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布
对你依依不舍
连隔壁邻居都猜到
我现在的感受
河边的风
在吹着头发飘动
牵着你的手
一阵莫名感动
我想带你
回我的外婆家
一起看着日落
一直到我们都睡着
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我想带你骑单车
我想和你看棒球
想这样没担忧
唱着歌一直走
我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱可不可以简简单单没有伤害
你靠着我的肩膀
你在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活
我爱你你爱我
想简！简！单！单！爱...
想简！简！单！单！爱...

This. Song. Rocks.

I thought I could leave my blog dead, but no.

Recently I reverted back to Linkin Park (have I told you this?)

I have posted these lyrics before, but decided to post them again, because they are meaningful for me.

Carousel--Linkin Park

She can’t hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguise behind her lies
And at night she cries away her pride
With eyes shut tight, staring at her inside
All her friends know why she can’t sleep at night
All her family asking if she’s all right
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
But all she’s gotta do is stop kidding herself

She can only fool herself for so long (3x)
She can only fool herself

I’m too weak to face me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me

When it comes to how to live his life
He can’t be told
Says he’s got it all under control
Thinks he knows it’s not a problem he’s stuck with
But in reality, it’d be a problem to just quit
An addict and he can’t hold the reigns
The pain is worse ‘cause his friends have it the same
Tries to slow down the problem he’s got
But can’t get off the carousel
Until he makes it stop

He can only fool himself for so long (3x)
He can only fool himself

Chorus

Try to fly with the wings I gave you
Try to do what you believe and I’ll save you

Chorus (4x)

And I am sorry, but the Physics elective really isn't what I expected it to be. I mean, what I expected is like notes and more knowledge or at least particle physics explained more clearly with the teacher's help, but...oh god.

I want to cry man. Why is it so screwed up?

We go to the elective to learn and absorb, not to give out whatever tiny little bit of knowledge we have. Perhaps he wants us to seek out the knowledge ourselves and learn ourselves. But how efficient can it get?

Still have not decided on what to do for Physics elective project yet. We are kinda screwed.

• Math Assignment 1 (I have absolutely NO godamn motivation to do it at all)
  
• Chemistry Assignment 1 (Check for mathematical errors, which I am bound to have as it includes heavenly powers)
• Biology Assignment 1 (Thanks for making it point form)
• Chinese (7 questions and sentence-making)
• English Project (may need to email Ms Lam for help on brushing up my English skills)
  
• Math Mini-Project (we are TOTALLY screwed)
  
• Math project (not so screwed)
  
• Physics elective Project (feeling somewhat screwed, depending on chance and probability of whether we are the first group to present or not)
  
• Programming Assignment (making it now, expecting to screw up the programming part)

God.

To like or not like holidays, that is the question.

May change blogskin.

The wonders of the heavenly ice chocolate.

Yan Sheng also agrees that it is nicer.

Ice chocolateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD

Ice mochaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa XD

Blogging for the sake of showing how much the ice chocolate rocks. I just love it so so so so so much! It's like looking at a very very very very very cute cat/kitten >.<

Titled as so because I am uncertain how long this post will end.

School holidays. 4 weeks. Stay at home, no homework to do. No homework to do, become a lot of time. A lot of time, start to think about random stuff. Think about random stuff, then you link up and think more. Think more until your brain cannot take it, die.

What do humans need?

Scientifically, humans need oxygen, food and water to stay alive.

Psychologically, humans need support. What kind of support? Depends for people.

Some people, just need a few words from their friends, to realise that people acknowledge.

Some people, need lots of words of logical reasoning, to realise they still have the reason to survive.

In short, it depends.

Realised that people around me are all confused. Including me too.

Confused about themselves, their friends, their lives, their points of view, etc etc.

Well, we are confused, and depressed. For unknown reasons (i.e it is very irritating)

Sometimes, thinking about it more will let you get what you really want out of it. Sometimes, thinking about it more saps your energy literally instead: You get more confused in turn.

To quote Yan Sheng: It's part of growing up.

To briefly quote primary six teachers: Your high school life is a significant part of your life.

Primary school. We think the world is the way we see it as. Apparently, the world is never that easy to see, and never that easy to define, anyway.

To quote Amanda--nothing makes sense in this world anymore

The thing about truth, as I always believed, is, well true, but in some cases crappy.

Some friends asked me to think it out over a week or so, and advices me that "If you think it should let it go, then let it go."--rational and/or/but crappy truth

Sometimes we are so confused, we rather people around us to just shut the hell up, and don't say anything at all. Sometimes, we rather talk to things that don't talk to us at all. It's like...it understands everything you say, and even if it doesn't, or it disagrees, it won't say anything.

Explains why I treat soft toys as humans, I guess.

What is the definition of "care"? How exactly do you care for someone? I will not define it here, it is far too diverse for me to briefly describe in one or two sentence. What I know is that, in the process of caring and/or being cared, you hurt and/or get hurt.

Consequences of this care can be catastrophic, in some depressive cases, like the ultraviolet catastrophe.

These days, I seem to relate life with physics concepts.

It's all about the damned word "entropy".

People think about whether they should be thankful for the world or not. I say it's about general relativity. Different people experience different things, thus have different views of life, have different definitions/conditions for being thankful.

In this world we live in, we often have to wear multiple personalities to suit different people around us, different situations.

As we constantly change the mask, we slowly become used to it, and in the end, we don't know we interchanged from which to which, and subsequently, don't know what is your true self.

Someone says it's like quantum mechanics-->wave/particle duality.

For me, the definition of "my true self" is blurred way out of vision for long. Way too long already.

Will this day come, when your true self is this multiple-value mask? Being you means being interchangeable?

I don't know, I don't think I really wish that to happen...I think my true self is only at home.

Is this how paranoid I have become of this world?

With my state of mind right now, I cannot sleep.

Die by confusion, I will.

By the way, Lianhe Zaobao had this article about symptoms of mild depression. I fit into all.

http://health.zaobao.com/pages8/psycho080622.shtml

Apparently the symptoms had been in me for almost 2 years already, thus I do not bother about it at all. xD

I am very sure something is haunting me. Just that I don't know what.

(Credits to Vivian for listening to me rant, scream etc, and in turn, write this poem for me)

Bye...

Oooooo…I’m leaving for good,
It’s not like u can make me stay
But still I’ve gotta’ tell you all this...
Even if it breaks my heart

It ain’t anyone’s fault,
It’s just another case of mistrust

Stop trying to pull me back
Stop trying to keep me here
Stop trying to break my heart
When it’s already in a million pieces, my dear

I forgave you for your
Insensitivity
Ur negligence
And absence

In September, u promised me the world
In November, u probably forgot all about it
In December, when I was dying inside
You promised it again, yet it was disregarded

I’m not trying to make life
Difficult for all of u,
You all dun wanna see me like this
I know it’s hard but, it’s just me

It’s scary I know
But I’m also scared,
To lose you, to mistrust, or fear,
To someone else

Over thinking, I am,
But I just can’t find a way to trust
You again
With you just not by my side,

Just seeing you with someone else,
I walk away, with tears in my eyes,
And you just stay there,
Right by her side

Sometimes, it isn’t what you do
Sometimes it isn’t what you say
It’s just the words never uttered,
The care never shown

Sometimes I just need support,
A hug
A few words
That I really need,

It isn’t the ranting about your own life,
It isn’t the preaches that I have to be strong
It isn’t the tears that I have to hide
It isn’t the smile I’m forced to wear

Why can’t you all just understand?
I want out
No amount of pleases and ‘I beg you’ s
Are gonna hold me back this time

No amount of promises, and ‘I swear’
Is gonna keep me back this time
Cos I’ve already lost faith in such promises and words
Cos they’ve been broken all the time

Bye...


My thoughts in compression.

I'm too tired to think anything (except the Germany match against Turkey and reading math and science). So stop asking me questions, I am confused enough.

Those feelings I have when I feel like ripping the insides of me. Those thoughts that race in my mind when I feel being pressed down from the inside, right on my heart.

Compressed into a poem.

There.

Last time it's sleep at 9pm, wake up at 10pm for dinner. Sleep at 11pm, wake up at 2.45am to switch on laptop for football. Sleep, then wake up at 5am to switch off laptop. Sleep at around 6am, then wake up at 9am.

Today's one is somewhat epic.

I slept from 1am-2.45am. Watched the whole match, then lied down on the bed after reading the newspaper at 6.15am. Closed my eyes (doesn't mean I slept).

Opened my eyes at 6.30am. The sky is getting brighter.

Closed my eyes, opened them at 7am. I rather go to school, the sky seems so nice.

Closed my eyes, opened them at 7.30am. 他妈的根本就没有睡到。

Damn lor, never sleep at all. Argh.

Now I look like someone who's...I don't know how to say. Urgh.

EDIT: Fevers fluctuate for me. Now it's 38.8. This morning it was 36.4. Damn it, I just slept for an hour=.= then it came back liao.

Croatia 1 -- Turkey 1 (Extra 30 minutes)

Croatia's goal was made at the 29th minute of the extra 30 minutes. But it's not the end.

Turkey scored a goal on the 31st minute (30 min + 1 min).

Penalty.

Croatia 1 -- Turkey 3

Apparently out of 4 penalty shoots for Croatia, 1st and 3rd one did not get in. Only the 2nd one scored. 4th shoot was blocked by Rustu, the goalkeeper for Turkey.

26th June 2008. Germany vs Turkey. I dare not imagine.

By the way I did not sleep at all.

As the holidays are ending, I get more depressed.

I swore my imagination almost killed me. Or was it imagination?

I don't know.

Apparently a phone call would help I guess, but I can't, so damn it.

Now I am left by myself, till the next day. Can I survive?

Oh well, if only I can fall asleep, that is.

Woohoo!

I did not wake up and watch for nothing!

Germany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Portugal 2 -- Germany 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The newspapers are wrong! Ha! (Right in their face XD)

Only thing now is that I have great panda eyes. Oh sheesh.

Seems like papayas are good for sore throat.

First goal: Schweinsteiger
Second goal: Miroslav Klose
Third goal: Michael Ballack

Stupid, go to school at 12.30pm just to buy a pair of spike shoes. Gah.

EDIT: Oh lol, saw Mr Foo in canteen at about 10.30am. So went home at 11.20am, reached home at 12pm. When I was trying the shoes...

"Joanne, your feet so small ar?"--Mr Foo

O.O

My mum always said my feet very big lor. Then realise Rachel has a shoe size of 39 O.O. Mine is only 37. Zzz.

Slept until 3pm because of fever+sore throat+cough+flu.

3.27pm: Now it's 38.8. Lalala.

3.37pm: Now it's still 38.8. It's a constant! O.O

What to do now? Like this I also screwed up, what to do now? Zzz.

----------------
Now playing: Nightwish - Planet Hell
via FoxyTunes

I already uninstalled Audition. Yay me.

So bored I am trying out the online tests for the "Which brain do you use more" thingy.

One says I'm left-brained, another said I'm right. The speaker last time showed me that I'm...right-brained right? Left over right means you right brain right? Never mind.

http://scienceline.org/2007/10/29/ask-hsu-spinning-girl-right-left-brain-hemispheres/

Somewhat enlightening?

I thought it's kinda pointless to find out which side I am, but it just seems so appealing. Don't ask me why.

Yay another one says I'm right-brained. Okay this is really sian :/

Left.

Optimism test? I sure die.
48%. AHAHAH.

Ok I'm not bothered to anymore.

Finally saw cats that are not black and yellow. Quite a lot of them. And I think they like me. O.O

Why? WHY?!

France and Romania, 0-0?!

*screams*

My mum should have woke me up for the Holland vs Italy match. Thought it will be totally scary. Oh whatever.

Spain vs Russia...I won't say who will win, since I had not seen Russia's power before (or not remembering seeing its power before).

Assuming Russia is a weaker team like Switzerland, I will say 2-0 or 2-1.

Greece vs Sweden...I won't say anything also. Greece in the Fifa World Cup 2006 had some kinda strength, only got defeated by stronger teams (I won't bother remembering which). Sweden is supposed to be a "stronger" team, at least when compared to weaker teams like Switzerland.

If I have to choose, I may say...1-1? Or maybe 2-2? 1-1 will be more likely, if it is a draw.

Realised that we are all bored to the extreme.

Sigh.

My mum is watching this German TV channel which talks about some German kids going over to China for I-don't-know-what. And and and and and, they kept using Jay Chou's music as the background music!!!!!

Ok now not.

Numbing The Pain--Heaven Shall Burn
"Dreams torn to pieces, broken like glass
Hope faded away, withered like leaves
Not knowing is blessing, ignorance the only protection

Nothing is numbing my pain
The fragments of my faith
Became the blade in my hand
Just darkness my eyes see
Pushed me to the end of all dead-end-streets

A curse - cannot lie to myself
I'm doomed - cannot silence my heart
Fear is the tool, conformity our medicine

How can I smile as this age dies, like everybody else
Dancing around the fire, that burns this world

Cannot bend down, I would just break
I hate myself for playing their game
Parents poison their children, never teach them to question
If it only wasn't for this certainty in me
I am a giant in their tiny world"

Architects of the Apocalypse--Heaven Shall Burn
"Greed and addiction drowned their pity
Washed away their thoughts of compassion and regret
A world left wounded, slaved and raped
Your paradise is hell for your descendants

Cathedrals of justice in a kingdom of hypocrisy
Castles of self-righteousness built on graves

Masses kept in forlorn, nations laid to waste
The dynamo of northern golden age
Darkened our future, blinded by greed
Sold your fate to the highest price

I don't believe in you!
You are the enemy!
A rush into our doom, as if your God came down
And cures all failure"

The Dream is Dead--Heaven Shall Burn
"One voice, one power, the people's will arose,
Slew the tyrant and burned his castles, brought down
A supreme blooded pestilence once more

Under the same dawn advocates of wealth and freedom spread their words like prophets do
Bring them down! Down to their knees! Down to this greed!

Fooling us again, while our screams not even silenced
This rage has been a weapon, but our hope will bring the doom
So many times I prayed:, so many times I died!

We burst the chains
And now we should be on our own, but the fear of tomorrow
Will drive you to their arms again

The golden age we're celebrating creeps out of the womb of the same old lie
A child of tyranny and hatred
A heaven for the chosen few"

Black Tears--Heaven Shall Burn
" When I'm in this state of mind,
I'm wishing I was blind,
Sometimes life is more than pain to me

I feel the power of my grief,
Death would be such a relief,
All the secrets that I hide would die with me

Depression is my only friend,
Will this torture never end?
Let me carry on to dreamer's sky

I keep crying in my dreams,
Can you hear my endless screams?
When I fade away, I fade away...

This fluid on my cheek,
It drains me, I get weak
My heart is cold and bleak
Black blood, black tears.
Black tears, black tears.

Life is like a masquerade,
In dept to myself, but I can't pay,
Soon I'll call it all a day, away

I never felt what you call guilt,
I still believe "Do what thou wilt",
My sorrow will destroy the world I've built

This fluid on my cheek,
It drains me, I get weak
My heart is cold and bleak
Black blood, black tears.
Black tears, black tears."

Lazy to quote more.

Godamn laptop's wireless adapter was screwed.

Used someone's laptop in school to download the drivers, installed them, then fix.=.=

Went to school at 8am, then went to IMM at 9am, then came back to school at 10am, and still in school now.

Sian.

As I was crossing the road, I almost got hit by a car, but whatever.

Yes Germany 2-0, won Poland, woohoo!

Both goals were made by Podolski! Go Podolski!

Did Miroslav Klose dye his hair black=.=

And Michael Ballack looks slightly weird to me now. Never mind.

Still, Germany WON! WOOHOO!

Q1: Do you like your present school?
...In which aspect.

Q2: What do you want the most now?
The most? Now? Well, can I not say here, that is?

Q3: Who is the closest person to you in your school?
No one in particular? But the closest group would be the family tree xD

Q4: Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Natural human instincts says yes, but "forgive and forget"! Also, I try my best not to hate my friends...I hope >.<

Q5: Are you afraid of death?
If and only if I have not live my life to the fullest. Now I personally think it's 92% potential energy reached.

Q6: What is your goal this year?
To get >4.2 CAP for Semester 2, which may be...possible?

Q7: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Believe in the idea of it or the probability of it? They are two different things, mind you.

Q8: Do you believe in eternal love?
For someone like me, yes, what do you think==

Q9: Do you think boyfriends are a necessity?
Necessity? No. Even Primary 3 kids know humans survive with oxygen, food and water (Sorry, that it has to be so scientifically sound yet so...cruel.)

Q10: What do you enjoy doing the most?
Well, to...know that you are still breathing? Even though at times you wished you had not, there are much more times you thanked yourself and your family and friends that you had.

Q11a: Have you ever done anything for your admirer?
...I guess so? Admire in what sense? Respect or love or...fangirl?

Q11b: Have you ever done anything for your admiree?
...Refer to Q11a.

Q12: What feeling do you hate most?
Currently I hate the feeling of standing on the line, in between slacking and non-slacking. I swear I could not stand 5 minutes of slacking.

Q13: Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
I try to, though I tend to neglect people at times...Sorry >.<

Q16: Do you find life meaningless?
Life=42, dude. Or, if you don't like 42, then 9X6 in base 13!

Q17: What do you live for?
Live for the fact that this is the one and only life I possibly have?

Q18: Who do you talk most to in school?
The family tree =D

Q19: What book are you currently reading?
Math Wonders by...I am not bothered to switch on the lights and see=.=

Q20:[Edited]Would you rather a real world of infinite impossibilities, or a fantasy world of infinite possibilities?
This question is weird, I know...But I would choose a real world of infinite impossibilities, because infinite impossibilities implies infinite possibilities too! (Induction MA4105 or MA4107) XD


Yay!

I changed my blogskin two times in a day!

Well I have my reasons, do not stop me. Bleah XD

What Tan Yong Ying Means

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

I feel like I'm cursed, or simply unlucky.

Or maybe I deserved it from the starting already?

Am I that unfilial a daughter?

Or it is simply you? Simply me?

"It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they’ve played

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never bee a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

It’s easier to run replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"

It describes me somehow. After being a Linkin Park fan for so long, the lines

"It’s easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone"

finally made me realise the significance of this song in my life.

I am changing blogskin soon.

Your Call--Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
(Like when we would meet)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take.
While you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's yours? What's yours, What is yours)
[ Your Call lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
X4
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause
I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)


I demand you to listen to this song, like now. XD

Sian lar.

Faraday exco stuff tomorrow, track training on Friday.

Then track training on Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

...

Holidays are not holidays anymore. The fact that I am going to school, but not seeing the people I see every morning...sucks.

I woke up this morning to realise I just had a freaky dream, far beyond my imagination. I can't bring myself to talk about it at all here, because it's just way out of logic.

Anyway, got tagged by Su Hang D=<

1. Su Hang
2. (Ting)^2
3. Amanda
4. Josephine
5. Vivian Lau
6. Tricia
7. Yan Sheng
8. Wei Ren
9. Timothy
10. Chester (Ng, not Bennington)
    
11. Ian Foo
12. Gayathri
13. Yu Jia
14. Natalie
15. Hilda
16. Aisyah
17. Shahid
18. Charles Wong
19. Spencer
20. Zikri
    

01.How did you meet #14?
Natalie. First day of school lorh.

02. What would you do if you didnt meet #1?
Su Hang. I would probably mourn for myself and my daughters every single day, because she started the family with (Ting)^2!

03. What if #9 and #20 dated?
Timothy and Zikri. The day they date each other is the day we die due to meteorite striking Earth.

04. Describe #3.
AMANDA!!! Hyper like siao! Someone who I can confide to sometimes :)

05. Is #8 attractive?
Wei Ren. Need I say more?

06. Describe #7.
Yan Sheng. A somewhat-rare-to-be genius of a kind, not exactly nerdy, not exactly geeky. Very influential, especially to me, as you can see how greatly he contributes to me liking Linkin Park and Mathematics.

07. Know of any of #12's family members?
Gayathri. Yes! Her twin sister! XD

08. What will you do if #18 confesses that he/she likes you?
Charles Wong. Tell him there's someone called Ang Yan Sheng of M08201, then slap myself, for this is impossible, which means I am possibly dreaming.

09. What language does #15 speak?
Hilda. She speaks...what I speak?

10. Who is #9 going out with?
Timothy. How would I know/ Why would (should) I tell you?

11. How old is #16?
Aisyah. Same same!

12. When is the last time you spoke to #13?
Yu Jia. Spoke? In camp perhaps.

13. Who is #2's favourite band/singer?
(Ting)^2. w-inds. / Keita Tachibana lorh. (Gets Yan Sheng to say "Keita" while floating around XD)

14. You ever date #4?
Josephine. ...Need I say more?

15. Would you ever date #1?
Su Hang. She already has Uly, I already have YS, so what is your problem?! (*^#*^&(*^(*&%&^@%#

16. Is #19 single?
Spencer. Yes. I think.

17. What's #10 last name?
This question is damn fitting (and necessary). Ng, not Bennington.

18. Would you ever be in a relationship with #11?
Ian Foo. Please refer to question 15.

19. School of #3?
AMANDA! NUSH! XD

20. Where does #6 live?
Tricia. Near the school lorh.

21. Whats your favourite thing about #5?
Vivian Lau. The fact that she's in Chinese Orchestra and gets free entertainment every Friday and has 2 drum sticks to whack Yan Sheng.

You're tagged! :D

1. Vivian Lau
2. (Ting)^2
3. AMANDA!
4. Tricia
5. Josephine
6. Lim Pin (I know you read my blog, so XD)
   

One thing I almost forgot to mention.

Yan Sheng was singing the Gatsby song in the phone that day, and I told my mum the story when the commercial was showed again. The first thing she said was (translated into English), "Did he buy the product and spray it on himself also?"

I instantly ROFLMAO-ed, literally.

Godammit.

1. HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
My Spirit Will Go On--Dragonforce
Duh! Of course it will go on! I have motivation! (Hope it comes to me today in school...Sighs)

2. WILL YOU GET FAR IN LIFE?
Pieces--w-inds.
What? My life will go in pieces? Oh no?!

3. HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
Degrees of Loneliness--WAWA
...Eh?

4. WILL YOU GET MARRIED?
The Replacement (5th May 2008)--the mrbrown show
WHAT?! THE REPLACEMENT WILL MARRY ME?! HUH?!
...Foreigner? Foreign talent beer auntie?! *screams*

5. WHAT IS YOUR BEST FRIENDS THEME SONG?
Repentance--Dream Theater
...That's just simply weird.

6. WHAT IS THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE?
Let Me Dance--Lexy
I can't dance very well...

7. WHAT WAS HIGH SCHOOL LIKE?
Rnw@Y--Linkin Park
Runaway? I do not run away from school...Though I do run a lot in school...

10. WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND?
Starfire--Dragonforce
"Dark night with a glimmering light in the distance up ahead
In the forest they dwell with a misty spell no one heard what once was said"
...So I will see light in the distance? Stars?
:)

11. TO DESCRIBE YOUR GRANDPARENTS?
Crank That--Soulja Boy
...
WHAT THE HELL?!
Even the Spongebob video of Crank That doesn't fit!

12. HOW IS YOUR LIFE GOING?
(Sic)--Slipknot
My life is going metal? That will be good...
"You can't kill me, 'cause I'm already inside you."
WOAH. WOOHOO!

13. WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
No Make Up--Son Sang Mi
No make up? I don't mind...

14. HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
夜的第七章--周杰伦
...Twilight? A chapter in the night?

15. WILL YOU HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
All The Things She Said--T.A.T.U
Huh? Who said what affect me happy blah?!

16. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF YOU?
BAN! BAN!--Love Machine
WTF?! My friends ban me? From what? @.@

17. DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER YOU?
No More Sorrow (Live)--Linkin Park
"Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!"
They lust after me? Oh no :O

18. HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
So Beautiful--Dashboard Confessional
"You've got your inside lines
But you're never happy with what you've got"
...I am never happy? Kinda true sometimes...:X

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?
La Campanella--Franz Liszt
Slit my wrist to the notes of La Campanella (trusts me, it'll be fun)?
Huh?

20. WILL YOU EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
Happiness--Super Junior
...So I will just be happy like siao?

21. WHAT SONG WILL YOU STRIP TO?
Take My Hand--Simple Plan
"The city sleeps and we're lost in the moment
Another kiss says we're lying on the pavement"
O.O

22. IF A MAN IN A VAN OFFERED YOU CANDY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Vocalise--Rachmaninoff
Sounds like a great idea to take out your violin and start irritating him with this piece...XD

23. WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER THINK OF YOU?
Excursions Op. 20, No. 4--Barber (Classical piece=.=)
...We'll be going on excursions forever? Eh?!

24. WHAT IS YOUR DEEP DARK SECRET?
Op. 25 No. 6, Etude in G-sharp Minor--Chopin
I promised to say my deep dark secret to someone only...So there!

25. WHAT IS YOUR MORTAL ENEMY'S THEME SONG?
First Touch--Yanni
Right, first touch and we know we are enemies? I guess so?

26. WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?
The worst day ever--Simple Plan
"And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again"
I do not feel like that every single day....O.O

27. WHAT SONG WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR WEDDING?
Walking in the Air--Nightwish
" We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly"
...Sound like a nice piece?

There. Done.
Please highlight the words if necessary. I am not bothered to edit it any longer.

Don't ask me why my post title is so weird.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA! XD

Slacked through the whole day today. Wasted 3-4 hours looking through blogskins. Some were really awesome, while some simply sucks.

Meow.

People change a lot, and really a lot, in a very short time.

By post:

1. Moved
2. OBS?
3. 随笔
4. Random Composition
5. Amusement
6. Amusement
7. 记叙文
8. What's the point of everything when it all does no...
9. Random.
10. LOL.

By month:

1. April 2000
2. September 2007
3. October 2007
4. November 2007
5. December 2007
6. January 2008
7. February 2008
8. March 2008
9. April 2008
10. May 2008
11. June 2008
12. July 2008
13. August 2008
14. September 2008
15. October 2008
16. November 2008
17. December 2008
18. January 2009
19. February 2009
20. March 2009
21. April 2009
22. May 2009
23. July 2009
24. August 2009
25. September 2009
26. October 2009
27. November 2009
28. December 2009

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