星情--周杰伦
乘著風　遊盪在藍天邊　一片雲掉落在我面前
捏成你的形狀　隨風跟著我　一口一口吃掉憂愁

載著你　彷彿載著陽光　不管到哪裡都是晴天
蝴蝶自在飛　花也佈滿天　一朵一朵因你而香
試圖讓夕陽飛翔　帶領你我環繞大自然
迎著風　開始共渡每一天

手牽手　一步兩步三步四步　望著天
看星星　一顆兩顆三顆四顆　連成線

背對背默默許下心願　
看遠方的星是否聽的見

背對背默默許下心願　
看遠方的星如果聽的見　它一定實現

I still prefer Jay Chou's old songs. They sound much more...sweeter? ><

梯田--周杰伦
文山啊等你写完词我都出下一张专辑罗
没关系慢慢来这首歌我自己来
说到中学时期家乡的一片片梯田是我看过最美的绿地
於是也因此让我得了最佳摄影
莫名其妙在画面中的我不会写词都像个诗人
坐著公车上学的我看著窗外的牛啃草
是一种说不出的自由自在

hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～我亲爱的牛儿啊
hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～跑到哪儿去啦

面店旁的小水沟留著我们长大的梦
绕过天真跳至收割期
人们的汗水夹杂著满足与欢喜
是我现在最舍不得的画面也是我另一项参展作品
靠著回忆画成油画拿到奖状
有个啥用鼓励你多去回忆是吧
哼我真想撕掉换回自然怎黱梯田
不见多了几家饭店住在里面看西洋片
几只水牛却变成画挂在墙壁上
象徵人们蒸蒸日上
一堆游客偶尔想看看窗外的观光景点
但只看到比你住的再高一层的饭店

hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～我亲爱的牛儿啊
hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～跑到哪儿去啦

因地制宜综合利用利用对还是不对
自私的人类狼不狼狈
破坏自然的生态会不会很累
你说为了艺术要砍下一棵树
酱对还是不对
你说为了装饰请问干我啥事是不是
只能用相机纪录自然拿给下一代下一代回味
可怜可悲森林绿地都已成纪录片
闻不到绿意盎然只享受到乌烟瘴气
我不能教育你们
我不是你们老师我不是校长
也不能给你们一巴掌...掌...长...长...长篇大论
你们并不想听我知道
但我没办法我就是要写
你们可能永远不能体会显微镜底下的我们
会更现实更自私这种艺术真的很难领悟

反方向的钟--周杰伦
迷迷蒙蒙 你给的梦
出现裂缝 隐隐作痛
怎么沟通你都没空
说我不懂 说了没用
他的笑容 有何不同
在你心中 我不再受宠
我的天空 是雨是风 还是彩虹
你在操纵
恨自己真的没用情绪激动
一颗心到现在还在抽痛
还为分手前那句抱歉在感动
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻
我的伤口 被你拆封
誓言太沉重泪被纵容
脸上汹涌 失控
城市霓虹 不安跳动
染红夜空 过去种种
像一场梦 不敢去碰
一想就痛 心碎内容
每一秒钟 都有不同
你不懂 连一句珍重
也有苦衷 也不想送
寒风中 废墟烟囱
停止转动 一切落空
在人海中盲目跟从
别人的梦 全面放纵
恨没有用 疗伤止痛
不在感动 没有梦
痛不知轻重
泪水鲜红 全面放纵
恨自己真的没用情绪激动
一颗心到现在还在抽痛
还为分手前那句抱歉在感动
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻
我的伤口 被你拆封
誓言太沉重泪被纵容
脸上汹涌 失控
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻

黄金甲--周杰伦
剑气如虹 闪电变如风
此去东方有条龙 杀气如风
形势如中空
将军我豪情如众 声势很凶
黄金甲如重铁
金戈害我心如空　
景色 不同
角色 不同
攻势 不同
混乱 永远无终
混乱 永远无终
一静一动 如松
千年不变
如空 如空 如空
血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤
周围每人落魄 周围没人啰嗦
行人漂泊漂泊 漂泊一身落寞
亲人纷纷入座 兵戎相见如果
千军万马万马 万马奔腾的轱辘声 真不错

经年战事已久 成败转眼入秋
点滴烽火烽火 烽火回忆入秋

那烽火回忆入秋 吼`吼`吼`吼`
那杀戮过逝如风 吼`吼`吼`吼`
那烽火回忆入秋 吼`吼`吼`吼`
皇室血脉如河流{皇室血脉如河如流}

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
撂倒你们 看谁倒下
爱恨悲欢 历史留下
谁在乱箭之中潇洒

Have been thinking about somethings this while.

GIRLY

[x]I like at least one shade of pink (...)

[x] I don't like being messy (Yes I admit my room is messy, but it's the result of negligence!)

[ ] My belongings are organized (I would like my belongings to be so, tyvm.)

[ ] I don't like rock music. (...Linkin Park!)

[x] I like wearing accessories. (Me like long, dangly earrings xD)

[ ] Bright colors amaze me.

[ ] I hate black. (...I have 5 IP Zone jackets, dude.)

[ ] I go to the salon once a week. (Uh huh)

[ ] I comb my hair almost all the time. (I don't only cuz I do not want to freak my teachers out)

[ ] I bring my phone with me everywhere. (Me no phone, so I win)

TOTAL: 3

BOYISH

[x] I wear baggy pants (Yay)

[x] I play video games. (...o2jam! Me want o2jam back T.T)

[ ] I listen to bands like Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Switchfoot, etc. (...)

[0.5x] I like wearing jackets with hoods. (I don't care, as long jacket can liao)

[ ] I'm too lazy to do chores. (Trained to be not like that)

[0.5x] I don't like shopping. (o.o)

[x] I like to go bungee jumping. (Yea lor)

[ ] I like being sweaty. (no-no-no!!!)

[ ] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes. (Wrong physics, wrong biology...)

[ ] I always wear perfume. (I don't even know which one fits me)

TOTAL: 4

NERDY

[x] I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket (It. Is. Necessary!!!!)

[x] I enjoy studying. (Ba. Ha. Ha.)

[ ] I wear glasses (I'm a far-sighted nerd. You got problem?)

[ ] I'm a straight-A student. (...If only Yan Sheng does his homework...)

[ ] I've never skipped any class in my whole life (Orly.)

[ ] I like my shirt tucked in. (Uh huh)

[x] One of my favorite subjects is science. (Lalala =D)

[x] I like reading books. (Duh! What is a far-sighted nerd without books? xD)

[x] My assignments are passed up on time. (Yep?)

TOTAL: 5

EMO

[x] I love the color black. (Ahem. Ok fine I have another 3 random black jackets, which makes it 8!)

[ ] I always sit at the corner. (O.O)

[x] One side of my hair is covering one of my eyes. (Both! Ha!)

[x] I like listening to metal rock music. (Nightwish ah.)

[x] I have a lot of problems in my life. (Dude.)

[ ] I don't talk much. (...)

[ ] I don't have that much friends.

[ ] I barely have fun. (O.O)

[ ] I barely go out with my folks or friends. (O.O)

TOTAL: 4

CHILDISH

[0.5x] I love to stare at the ceiling for ten minutes. (Does staring around the room count?)

[x] I sleep with a stuff toy. (What's wrong with that?! You got problem?!)

[x] I watch cartoons. (South Park--The Educational Video)

[0.5x] I love to invent words only i understand. (Never done that since...this year?)

[ ] I sleep with a night light. (If only I have one)

[ ] My parents are the ones who choose my outfit. (They dare to, I kill them!)

[ ] I'm scared of roller coasters. (O.O)

[ ] I like being with my family relatives. (I have not seen them for 8 years, tyvm)

[x] I take bubble baths. (=D)

[x] I love Spongebob. (Gary!)

TOTAL: 5

Conclusion: I hate this quiz. It is so not rounded. For example, you do not judge someone by the color they wear. I mean like...I can't find blue jackets? I can't find blue shirts? (IP Zone design some already?)

Nothing much.

Shithead is fun! xD

It. Is. Addictive.

Do you like me emo or cheerful? I really wonder.

If I am changing, am I changing for good or bad?

懦夫--周杰伦
周圍的人群堵住了我的出口
想爬起來我只能說真的好難
防火巷傳來的槍聲　把我從天堂叫醒
一名白種人褐色頭髮　在我面前倒下

從他的手裡那半包　看到不少我荒唐的影子
從他的眼球看到發抖的我　是那麼的醜陋
於是檢起地上他那第二個鈕扣
提醒自己該開始懂事　不被軟性藥物控制

在我的眼裡懂得拒絕才能存活下來（發呆）
活著不是用來演一齣糜爛的黑色喜劇（說不）
我很後悔當初沒有這樣的肯定（說不）
不代表懦夫

真不該　睜不開　別讓我的地球變暗
互相殘殺的動物真美
被期待　被覆蓋　蛻變的公式我學不來
我聞不到腐爛的香味

說不　我很後悔當時沒有這樣的肯定
說不　不代表懦夫　你應該很驕傲
我看不起人們無知的好奇作祟　心態
去親近死神　你了嗎　很了嗎

骯髒的香味　我吸了太多太多
腐敗的視野　我看了太多太多
瞳孔放大　不代表就能看得更多
難怪大人們說　我們永遠長不大

那一塊　我夢裡的　乾淨的天空
那一塊　我夢裡的　乾淨的天空
是否玩大風吹　也許就能看到
是否玩大風吹　也許就能看到

＊真不該　睜不開　別讓我的地球變暗
　互相殘殺的動物真美
（街角的消防栓上的紅色油漆　
　反射出兒時天真的嬉戲模樣）
　被期待　被覆蓋　蛻變的公式我學不來
　我聞不到腐爛的香味
（難道這不是我要的天堂景象　
　沉淪假象　你只會感到更加沮喪）＊

Watched 满城尽带黄金甲 with my parents. Apparently now I realise how screwed up it is...the last time i watched it was...two years ago? In the cinema? ><

蓝色风暴--周杰伦
亘古长夜善恶交接
我终于懂得流眼泪
洪荒世界百分之七十都是水
湛蓝的旷野
在海平面渴望满月
于是我终于学会告解
弥赛亚被世人误解被分类
爱恨从此敌对
远离风暴浩劫
在第三章第四节
我正在改写这世界
用观念进行侵略
我们占领整条街
粉刷海洋蓝的季节
一列超高速的地铁
一路训练我的听觉
消灭那些太琐碎太异类
让问题尖锐 oh ~
一双狂奔中的球鞋
一路强壮着我的肺
面对这些太威胁太强烈
从来不喊累

九星联结排成一列
在感动中我们忏悔
生命珍贵
我用那十四行诗赞美年轻的一切
我们在地平线感谢
爱停止向另一边倾斜
这首部曲的管弦乐太凄美
终于被人了解
远离风暴浩劫
耍狠不是靠对嘴
我就是传说中的谁
你跟我们很对味
有同一挂的感觉
其它人我根本不屑
一列超高速的地铁
一路训练我的听觉
消灭那些太琐碎太异类
让问题尖锐 oh ~
一双狂奔中的球鞋
一路强壮着我的肺
面对这些太威胁太强烈
从来不喊累 oh ~

米兰的小铁将--周杰伦
跑遍了牧场又绕过了村庄
他就站在街角的旧报摊
眼睛盯著隔壁里的橱窗一把吉他
远远欣赏木炭一箩筐
木炭一直放
木炭剩一半
火炉烫

小铁匠存钱买期望
在流汗
巴洛克建筑的街道旁
一家烟雾缭绕的酒馆
波兰的吟唱诗人在弹唱
小铁匠在门外
进不去在苦恼
他的铜板还太少
他真的真的想知道
(那首来自东欧的民谣和弦到底什么调)
米兰的天空刚破晓(寻马碲铁还要敲多少吉他才能买得到)
他真的真的想知道(他不知道怎么办才好睡不著)
他将那扑满打破了(小小愿望就快实现了他在笑)

最后的战役--周杰伦
机鎗扫射声中我们寻找遮蔽的战壕
儿时沙雕的城堡毁坏了重新盖就好
可是你那件染血布满弹孔的军外套
却就连祷告手都举不好
在硝烟中想起冰棒汽水的味道
和那些无所事事一整个夏天的年少
我放下鎗回忆去年一起毕业的学校
而眼泪一直都忘记要掉
嘲笑的声音在风中不断被练习
这树林间充满了敌意
部队弃守阵地你坚持要我也离去
我怎麼能放弃
我留著陪你强忍著泪滴
有些事真的来不及回不去
你脸在抽搐就快没力气
家乡事不准我再提
我留著陪你最後的距离
是你的侧脸倒在我的怀里
你慢慢睡去我摇不醒你
泪水在战壕里决了堤

没想到，世上竟然还存在这样的人。

难道就有这么沦落吗？真的这么无药可救吗？

排比法好好用啊！

谁知道？

他？她？

抽象小说……有这种小说吗？怎么听起来很熟悉……

大家都不管了。都不管这世界怎么了，社会怎么了，人类怎么了。

生命的价值，真的可以由我们定义吗？难道我们就能说准生命有意义？

我们自己有自己生命的价值，但是以一篇作文定义生命，讨论生命，为了什么？

生命的价值真的是活出自我，这么单纯吗？生命的价值，真的就是不要被困在框框里那么简单吗？

跳出框框，人人都会说。语言自由，人人都会说。但是到头来，人们不是宁愿听道德上正确的答案吗？

这世界早已冷漠，早已冷却。现仅存着一点一滴的温暖，挣扎着在世界上生存。关心的人，依然存在，只是他们不知道该怎么关心，该关心谁，该不该关心。

这几天我得好好思过。以自己的经验来看待人生，似乎不是正确的。但是，我还是不仅得问：冷却多，或温暖多？

这几天，我价值观应该会有些改变吧。

Random lines for random people (me inclusive):

1. Emotions do not hold. Stop being a fool and think about “问世间情为何物”. The world simply does not allow that. Face it.
2. There are so many things I need to write about!
3. The photo tells everything. Stop lying to us.
4. 12 pages?! 4 pages?!?!
5. I don't mind getting zero marks for it.
6. We send and receive lies everyday, like how we breathe in and out.
7. Life will be much easier without philosophy.
8. What a big gap! What brillliant human ignorance!
9. Diamonds are made from pencils!
10. [*.!_&
11. If you can't live with yourself, who else can?
12. Think before you learn (how fast your brain can process it, is your luck. Sorry)
13. My appetite level has dropped back to less than of what it was before my appetite surge.
14. Ego is not meant to be kept for long. Advice you to not even have one in the first place.
15. I love my classroom table.
16. Mr Lee rocks.
17. Mr Lee phails.
18. I will keep bugging Sourav until he returns me $2.
19. Math!
20. Physics!
21. Particle physics!
22. Last but not least, LHC!
    

I really appreciate it. It's like finding myself back (or at least on the way to that). Thanks YS for today on the train.

And laptop, one more time you hang, I am going to send you flying down the 23rd floor.

*smashes laptop*

And if I am not wrong, YS I did write something about that before. And the concept was exactly the same.

1GB processor? I slap you.

Monday, March 31, 2008

...

一阵冷风吹过，顿时间觉得自己很渺小、很渺小……

我的化学成绩又是全班最低的。为什么我就什么事都不能做好？不管我多么喜欢化学，不管我多么努力想了解我所学到的知识，我就偏偏不能把它学得好。总觉得自己一事无成的样子。

每次看到朋友拿着成绩的那种成就感，每次看到朋友拿到成绩时那种满意的笑容，我的自尊顿时间消失得无影无踪。难道自己以前那种认真的态度真的像一座被遗弃的废城一样，被我这个不负责任地国王抛在脑后？

……难道现实生活中，成绩就等于自尊、就等于一切吗？
……难道成绩不好，就已预言你将会是一位失败者？
谁都会说成绩不好不等于世界末日，但是，社会容许这样的人吗？至少，在新加坡里，这样的人会被认可吗？

答案似乎是不会。每次公司招聘员工时，都会看到许多着急呼吁的字样，而最后一行（或两行字）都会非常令人（至少令我）感到熟悉，似乎有一种回到家的感觉（虽然我们已经在家里了-.=),那就是文凭标准。

现在的竞争，似乎不是实力的竞争，而是文凭高低的竞争。没了文凭，就等于没了地位。没了文凭，就等于你不是人。没了文凭，就没饭吃。

………………

用文凭来代表一个人，就像是现代潮流一样，人人都爱。
等到政府发现我们全都僵化了，都变成行尸走肉了，才发现到潮流已过时；而当他们想尽快跟会“新潮流”时，才发现原来自己迟了一步。

这样的生活，我实在是厌倦。盲目学习，为的只是一张文凭，为的只是有多点饭吃，值得吗？

他们不管你付出的努力有多大，他们不管你为学习付出的时间有多少，他们只管你有多少张文凭。

I be grateful to whoever willing to help me make a blogskin on particle physics. I also accept blogskins on Math (preferably geometry, number series, trigonometric functions, etc).

"How many dimensions does a point have?"

"...Multiple dimensions! Multiple!"

=.= Dude.

Pandemic 2 rocks.

My mum siao liao, wants me premature. Not like I am having twins right now, why let me drink so much tonics? Not like they will help me become 1st in SMO=.=

Now feeling damn uncomfortable, thanks to cramps.

Screwedz. Sleep also cannot, anything also cannot. T.T

Reading "The Universe in A Nutshell" chinese traditional version.

"I love him for the man he wants to be."

"Kiss me and you'll see stars, love me and I'll give them to you."--Quotes of some weird deciphering game.

Realised this world has no place for emotions.

Thought someone said that Semester 2, Year 2 is the most not stressful time of the 6 years in NUSH. Orly, I wonder. Perhaps it's just me.

"That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings rock. Still don't know why their name is "The Ting Tings" out of everything ><

Which somehow gets me thinking about passing my Chinese homework on time so that I can get something from the school next year.

Step 1: "Aaa" your mouth up.
Step 2: "Blehh" your tongue out.
Step 3: Someone manually "kiaps" the mouth shut.

XDXD to Amanda and YS.

"Mary had a little lamb" becomes "Mary had a little meow."

人，又少了一个 Sleepy的人，又多了二十四个-->Comment on a lesson today. Credits to Yu Jia for the convo. We were writing random stuff, talking about Pokemon (Joanne died-ed twice because of my Psy-duck vs her Pikachu and type advantage respectively), then talking about "lalala-ed, blablabla-ed, meow-ed, zzz-ed, owl-ed, bear-ed, pirate-owled, etc etc. I added the msn convo tabs and display pictures. Mine is =D, Yu Jia's is D=.

Made a holy imprintment of YS being Jesus the weird weird person Da Vinci drew Aiya whatever lar! XD Damn fun, but hands were all black. Still fun.

Before the making of imprintment of the h(o)ley YS purple meteorite, we were playing UNO at Student Lounge. The cards weren't shuffled properly (which may be precisely why we can never ever end the game within god-knows-how-many-minutes), and well....I remember YS was lacking of green cards completely. Highest record of draw cards is 14, which, well, landed on me.

These days me very hungry=.= Have been eating a lot (of biscuits). Bleh.

生命的价值在于什么？ I need a good place to emo and reflect about it, because I realise I had no inspirations. Like damn it.

Perhaps the good thing about my room view is that I can see those big fluffy white clouds float by, like wheeeeee. Among the humongous white ones, hid some shy grey cotton balls, as if afraid to bang into each other and create sparks of raindrops.

The white one is simply huge. Trust me.

To quote someone--Why is love so complicated?

To quote myself--It isn't anyone's fault. It is just how things turn out that screws up our lives.

When we are safe of trouble, we always say that we will act according to logic when something happens. But, when it happens to us, how many people actually really do it?

Love, or at least affection, is not something that can be switched on or off using a switch. Neither is it a string which can be cut using a scissors.

It's possible, but it means pulling and tearing out a big part of your heart, leaving a fragment there which may or may not heal depending on the person.

And for someone who first experience it, they won't dare, and won't bear, to go through such kind of torment, for they think there must be a way to solve the problem the way they see it.

What to expect next?

I am going to scream my head off tomorrow.

Because.

ALL MY MATH PDF FILES ARE GONE! JUST LIKE THAT!

THE MATH PDF FILES I'VE PAINSTAKINGLY DOWNLOADED!

GONE!

I swear electronic devices hate me.

Laptop, MP3 player, HDD.

ALL kana spoil.

What the fork?!

I chiong-ed the chinese homework within 15 minutes and it's not supposed to be handed up by today.

What is all this for?

I am going to leave my blog dead.

I mourn for the loss of all my bookmarks: thinkgeek, Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics applets, kitten wallpapers, etc etc...

I laugh at myself for the loss of passion in doing my homework.

Why must the world work this way? Why do the humans make it work this way?

It's meant to be a good place, it is a good place. No more.

Disappointed.

Lies. Am I the one intricately weaving them? Or am I the one made to believe the lie weaver?

Time and again, you inflict those injuries of mental gore, and send them burning right in the flesh of my heart. Time and again, I put that damned trust on you, believing that what awaits me will be a better future. Time and again, I actually bother to think about you.

All this to realise it's a big lie of yours. Big fat juicy lie.

What do I get out of this big fat juicy lie? Nothing. Just the numbness I always get, only more. Just the tears I cried for you, only less. Just the pain and agony you have put me through, forever.

You send me worrying about you, day and night, and this is what you give me?

I am willing to give my time, love, concern for someone I love devotedly. But not you this time. Not anymore.

I much rather my blog be dead.

All is gone as for now.

Almost all is screwed as for now too.

I feel sleepy as of always.

BioFrenchPhysicsElectiveChinese

What the fork.

Writing my life story with my blood and tears

* Name: Tan Yong Ying
* School: NUS High School of Math & Science
* Class: M07106, M08206, M09304
* House: Faraday

星情--周杰伦
乘著風　遊盪在藍天邊　一片雲掉落在我面前
捏成你的形狀　隨風跟著我　一口一口吃掉憂愁

載著你　彷彿載著陽光　不管到哪裡都是晴天
蝴蝶自在飛　花也佈滿天　一朵一朵因你而香
試圖讓夕陽飛翔　帶領你我環繞大自然
迎著風　開始共渡每一天

手牽手　一步兩步三步四步　望著天
看星星　一顆兩顆三顆四顆　連成線

背對背默默許下心願　
看遠方的星是否聽的見

背對背默默許下心願　
看遠方的星如果聽的見　它一定實現

I still prefer Jay Chou's old songs. They sound much more...sweeter? ><

梯田--周杰伦
文山啊等你写完词我都出下一张专辑罗
没关系慢慢来这首歌我自己来
说到中学时期家乡的一片片梯田是我看过最美的绿地
於是也因此让我得了最佳摄影
莫名其妙在画面中的我不会写词都像个诗人
坐著公车上学的我看著窗外的牛啃草
是一种说不出的自由自在

hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～我亲爱的牛儿啊
hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～跑到哪儿去啦

面店旁的小水沟留著我们长大的梦
绕过天真跳至收割期
人们的汗水夹杂著满足与欢喜
是我现在最舍不得的画面也是我另一项参展作品
靠著回忆画成油画拿到奖状
有个啥用鼓励你多去回忆是吧
哼我真想撕掉换回自然怎黱梯田
不见多了几家饭店住在里面看西洋片
几只水牛却变成画挂在墙壁上
象徵人们蒸蒸日上
一堆游客偶尔想看看窗外的观光景点
但只看到比你住的再高一层的饭店

hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～我亲爱的牛儿啊
hoi ya e ya 那鲁湾 na e na ya hei
哦～跑到哪儿去啦

因地制宜综合利用利用对还是不对
自私的人类狼不狼狈
破坏自然的生态会不会很累
你说为了艺术要砍下一棵树
酱对还是不对
你说为了装饰请问干我啥事是不是
只能用相机纪录自然拿给下一代下一代回味
可怜可悲森林绿地都已成纪录片
闻不到绿意盎然只享受到乌烟瘴气
我不能教育你们
我不是你们老师我不是校长
也不能给你们一巴掌...掌...长...长...长篇大论
你们并不想听我知道
但我没办法我就是要写
你们可能永远不能体会显微镜底下的我们
会更现实更自私这种艺术真的很难领悟

反方向的钟--周杰伦
迷迷蒙蒙 你给的梦
出现裂缝 隐隐作痛
怎么沟通你都没空
说我不懂 说了没用
他的笑容 有何不同
在你心中 我不再受宠
我的天空 是雨是风 还是彩虹
你在操纵
恨自己真的没用情绪激动
一颗心到现在还在抽痛
还为分手前那句抱歉在感动
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻
我的伤口 被你拆封
誓言太沉重泪被纵容
脸上汹涌 失控
城市霓虹 不安跳动
染红夜空 过去种种
像一场梦 不敢去碰
一想就痛 心碎内容
每一秒钟 都有不同
你不懂 连一句珍重
也有苦衷 也不想送
寒风中 废墟烟囱
停止转动 一切落空
在人海中盲目跟从
别人的梦 全面放纵
恨没有用 疗伤止痛
不在感动 没有梦
痛不知轻重
泪水鲜红 全面放纵
恨自己真的没用情绪激动
一颗心到现在还在抽痛
还为分手前那句抱歉在感动
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻
我的伤口 被你拆封
誓言太沉重泪被纵容
脸上汹涌 失控
穿梭时间的画面的钟
从反方向 开始移动
回到当初爱你的时空
停格内容 不忠
所有回忆对着我进攻

黄金甲--周杰伦
剑气如虹 闪电变如风
此去东方有条龙 杀气如风
形势如中空
将军我豪情如众 声势很凶
黄金甲如重铁
金戈害我心如空　
景色 不同
角色 不同
攻势 不同
混乱 永远无终
混乱 永远无终
一静一动 如松
千年不变
如空 如空 如空
血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤
周围每人落魄 周围没人啰嗦
行人漂泊漂泊 漂泊一身落寞
亲人纷纷入座 兵戎相见如果
千军万马万马 万马奔腾的轱辘声 真不错

经年战事已久 成败转眼入秋
点滴烽火烽火 烽火回忆入秋

那烽火回忆入秋 吼`吼`吼`吼`
那杀戮过逝如风 吼`吼`吼`吼`
那烽火回忆入秋 吼`吼`吼`吼`
皇室血脉如河流{皇室血脉如河如流}

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
满城菊花 谁的天下
宫廷之上 狼烟风沙
生死不过 一道刀疤

血染盔甲 我挥泪杀
撂倒你们 看谁倒下
爱恨悲欢 历史留下
谁在乱箭之中潇洒

Have been thinking about somethings this while.

GIRLY

[x]I like at least one shade of pink (...)

[x] I don't like being messy (Yes I admit my room is messy, but it's the result of negligence!)

[ ] My belongings are organized (I would like my belongings to be so, tyvm.)

[ ] I don't like rock music. (...Linkin Park!)

[x] I like wearing accessories. (Me like long, dangly earrings xD)

[ ] Bright colors amaze me.

[ ] I hate black. (...I have 5 IP Zone jackets, dude.)

[ ] I go to the salon once a week. (Uh huh)

[ ] I comb my hair almost all the time. (I don't only cuz I do not want to freak my teachers out)

[ ] I bring my phone with me everywhere. (Me no phone, so I win)

TOTAL: 3

BOYISH

[x] I wear baggy pants (Yay)

[x] I play video games. (...o2jam! Me want o2jam back T.T)

[ ] I listen to bands like Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Switchfoot, etc. (...)

[0.5x] I like wearing jackets with hoods. (I don't care, as long jacket can liao)

[ ] I'm too lazy to do chores. (Trained to be not like that)

[0.5x] I don't like shopping. (o.o)

[x] I like to go bungee jumping. (Yea lor)

[ ] I like being sweaty. (no-no-no!!!)

[ ] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes. (Wrong physics, wrong biology...)

[ ] I always wear perfume. (I don't even know which one fits me)

TOTAL: 4

NERDY

[x] I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket (It. Is. Necessary!!!!)

[x] I enjoy studying. (Ba. Ha. Ha.)

[ ] I wear glasses (I'm a far-sighted nerd. You got problem?)

[ ] I'm a straight-A student. (...If only Yan Sheng does his homework...)

[ ] I've never skipped any class in my whole life (Orly.)

[ ] I like my shirt tucked in. (Uh huh)

[x] One of my favorite subjects is science. (Lalala =D)

[x] I like reading books. (Duh! What is a far-sighted nerd without books? xD)

[x] My assignments are passed up on time. (Yep?)

TOTAL: 5

EMO

[x] I love the color black. (Ahem. Ok fine I have another 3 random black jackets, which makes it 8!)

[ ] I always sit at the corner. (O.O)

[x] One side of my hair is covering one of my eyes. (Both! Ha!)

[x] I like listening to metal rock music. (Nightwish ah.)

[x] I have a lot of problems in my life. (Dude.)

[ ] I don't talk much. (...)

[ ] I don't have that much friends.

[ ] I barely have fun. (O.O)

[ ] I barely go out with my folks or friends. (O.O)

TOTAL: 4

CHILDISH

[0.5x] I love to stare at the ceiling for ten minutes. (Does staring around the room count?)

[x] I sleep with a stuff toy. (What's wrong with that?! You got problem?!)

[x] I watch cartoons. (South Park--The Educational Video)

[0.5x] I love to invent words only i understand. (Never done that since...this year?)

[ ] I sleep with a night light. (If only I have one)

[ ] My parents are the ones who choose my outfit. (They dare to, I kill them!)

[ ] I'm scared of roller coasters. (O.O)

[ ] I like being with my family relatives. (I have not seen them for 8 years, tyvm)

[x] I take bubble baths. (=D)

[x] I love Spongebob. (Gary!)

TOTAL: 5

Conclusion: I hate this quiz. It is so not rounded. For example, you do not judge someone by the color they wear. I mean like...I can't find blue jackets? I can't find blue shirts? (IP Zone design some already?)

Nothing much.

Shithead is fun! xD

It. Is. Addictive.

Do you like me emo or cheerful? I really wonder.

If I am changing, am I changing for good or bad?

懦夫--周杰伦
周圍的人群堵住了我的出口
想爬起來我只能說真的好難
防火巷傳來的槍聲　把我從天堂叫醒
一名白種人褐色頭髮　在我面前倒下

從他的手裡那半包　看到不少我荒唐的影子
從他的眼球看到發抖的我　是那麼的醜陋
於是檢起地上他那第二個鈕扣
提醒自己該開始懂事　不被軟性藥物控制

在我的眼裡懂得拒絕才能存活下來（發呆）
活著不是用來演一齣糜爛的黑色喜劇（說不）
我很後悔當初沒有這樣的肯定（說不）
不代表懦夫

真不該　睜不開　別讓我的地球變暗
互相殘殺的動物真美
被期待　被覆蓋　蛻變的公式我學不來
我聞不到腐爛的香味

說不　我很後悔當時沒有這樣的肯定
說不　不代表懦夫　你應該很驕傲
我看不起人們無知的好奇作祟　心態
去親近死神　你了嗎　很了嗎

骯髒的香味　我吸了太多太多
腐敗的視野　我看了太多太多
瞳孔放大　不代表就能看得更多
難怪大人們說　我們永遠長不大

那一塊　我夢裡的　乾淨的天空
那一塊　我夢裡的　乾淨的天空
是否玩大風吹　也許就能看到
是否玩大風吹　也許就能看到

＊真不該　睜不開　別讓我的地球變暗
　互相殘殺的動物真美
（街角的消防栓上的紅色油漆　
　反射出兒時天真的嬉戲模樣）
　被期待　被覆蓋　蛻變的公式我學不來
　我聞不到腐爛的香味
（難道這不是我要的天堂景象　
　沉淪假象　你只會感到更加沮喪）＊

Watched 满城尽带黄金甲 with my parents. Apparently now I realise how screwed up it is...the last time i watched it was...two years ago? In the cinema? ><

蓝色风暴--周杰伦
亘古长夜善恶交接
我终于懂得流眼泪
洪荒世界百分之七十都是水
湛蓝的旷野
在海平面渴望满月
于是我终于学会告解
弥赛亚被世人误解被分类
爱恨从此敌对
远离风暴浩劫
在第三章第四节
我正在改写这世界
用观念进行侵略
我们占领整条街
粉刷海洋蓝的季节
一列超高速的地铁
一路训练我的听觉
消灭那些太琐碎太异类
让问题尖锐 oh ~
一双狂奔中的球鞋
一路强壮着我的肺
面对这些太威胁太强烈
从来不喊累

九星联结排成一列
在感动中我们忏悔
生命珍贵
我用那十四行诗赞美年轻的一切
我们在地平线感谢
爱停止向另一边倾斜
这首部曲的管弦乐太凄美
终于被人了解
远离风暴浩劫
耍狠不是靠对嘴
我就是传说中的谁
你跟我们很对味
有同一挂的感觉
其它人我根本不屑
一列超高速的地铁
一路训练我的听觉
消灭那些太琐碎太异类
让问题尖锐 oh ~
一双狂奔中的球鞋
一路强壮着我的肺
面对这些太威胁太强烈
从来不喊累 oh ~

米兰的小铁将--周杰伦
跑遍了牧场又绕过了村庄
他就站在街角的旧报摊
眼睛盯著隔壁里的橱窗一把吉他
远远欣赏木炭一箩筐
木炭一直放
木炭剩一半
火炉烫

小铁匠存钱买期望
在流汗
巴洛克建筑的街道旁
一家烟雾缭绕的酒馆
波兰的吟唱诗人在弹唱
小铁匠在门外
进不去在苦恼
他的铜板还太少
他真的真的想知道
(那首来自东欧的民谣和弦到底什么调)
米兰的天空刚破晓(寻马碲铁还要敲多少吉他才能买得到)
他真的真的想知道(他不知道怎么办才好睡不著)
他将那扑满打破了(小小愿望就快实现了他在笑)

最后的战役--周杰伦
机鎗扫射声中我们寻找遮蔽的战壕
儿时沙雕的城堡毁坏了重新盖就好
可是你那件染血布满弹孔的军外套
却就连祷告手都举不好
在硝烟中想起冰棒汽水的味道
和那些无所事事一整个夏天的年少
我放下鎗回忆去年一起毕业的学校
而眼泪一直都忘记要掉
嘲笑的声音在风中不断被练习
这树林间充满了敌意
部队弃守阵地你坚持要我也离去
我怎麼能放弃
我留著陪你强忍著泪滴
有些事真的来不及回不去
你脸在抽搐就快没力气
家乡事不准我再提
我留著陪你最後的距离
是你的侧脸倒在我的怀里
你慢慢睡去我摇不醒你
泪水在战壕里决了堤

没想到，世上竟然还存在这样的人。

难道就有这么沦落吗？真的这么无药可救吗？

排比法好好用啊！

谁知道？

他？她？

抽象小说……有这种小说吗？怎么听起来很熟悉……

大家都不管了。都不管这世界怎么了，社会怎么了，人类怎么了。

生命的价值，真的可以由我们定义吗？难道我们就能说准生命有意义？

我们自己有自己生命的价值，但是以一篇作文定义生命，讨论生命，为了什么？

生命的价值真的是活出自我，这么单纯吗？生命的价值，真的就是不要被困在框框里那么简单吗？

跳出框框，人人都会说。语言自由，人人都会说。但是到头来，人们不是宁愿听道德上正确的答案吗？

这世界早已冷漠，早已冷却。现仅存着一点一滴的温暖，挣扎着在世界上生存。关心的人，依然存在，只是他们不知道该怎么关心，该关心谁，该不该关心。

这几天我得好好思过。以自己的经验来看待人生，似乎不是正确的。但是，我还是不仅得问：冷却多，或温暖多？

这几天，我价值观应该会有些改变吧。

Random lines for random people (me inclusive):

1. Emotions do not hold. Stop being a fool and think about “问世间情为何物”. The world simply does not allow that. Face it.
2. There are so many things I need to write about!
3. The photo tells everything. Stop lying to us.
4. 12 pages?! 4 pages?!?!
5. I don't mind getting zero marks for it.
6. We send and receive lies everyday, like how we breathe in and out.
7. Life will be much easier without philosophy.
8. What a big gap! What brillliant human ignorance!
9. Diamonds are made from pencils!
10. [*.!_&
11. If you can't live with yourself, who else can?
12. Think before you learn (how fast your brain can process it, is your luck. Sorry)
13. My appetite level has dropped back to less than of what it was before my appetite surge.
14. Ego is not meant to be kept for long. Advice you to not even have one in the first place.
15. I love my classroom table.
16. Mr Lee rocks.
17. Mr Lee phails.
18. I will keep bugging Sourav until he returns me $2.
19. Math!
20. Physics!
21. Particle physics!
22. Last but not least, LHC!
    

I really appreciate it. It's like finding myself back (or at least on the way to that). Thanks YS for today on the train.

And laptop, one more time you hang, I am going to send you flying down the 23rd floor.

*smashes laptop*

And if I am not wrong, YS I did write something about that before. And the concept was exactly the same.

1GB processor? I slap you.

Monday, March 31, 2008

...

一阵冷风吹过，顿时间觉得自己很渺小、很渺小……

我的化学成绩又是全班最低的。为什么我就什么事都不能做好？不管我多么喜欢化学，不管我多么努力想了解我所学到的知识，我就偏偏不能把它学得好。总觉得自己一事无成的样子。

每次看到朋友拿着成绩的那种成就感，每次看到朋友拿到成绩时那种满意的笑容，我的自尊顿时间消失得无影无踪。难道自己以前那种认真的态度真的像一座被遗弃的废城一样，被我这个不负责任地国王抛在脑后？

……难道现实生活中，成绩就等于自尊、就等于一切吗？
……难道成绩不好，就已预言你将会是一位失败者？
谁都会说成绩不好不等于世界末日，但是，社会容许这样的人吗？至少，在新加坡里，这样的人会被认可吗？

答案似乎是不会。每次公司招聘员工时，都会看到许多着急呼吁的字样，而最后一行（或两行字）都会非常令人（至少令我）感到熟悉，似乎有一种回到家的感觉（虽然我们已经在家里了-.=),那就是文凭标准。

现在的竞争，似乎不是实力的竞争，而是文凭高低的竞争。没了文凭，就等于没了地位。没了文凭，就等于你不是人。没了文凭，就没饭吃。

………………

用文凭来代表一个人，就像是现代潮流一样，人人都爱。
等到政府发现我们全都僵化了，都变成行尸走肉了，才发现到潮流已过时；而当他们想尽快跟会“新潮流”时，才发现原来自己迟了一步。

这样的生活，我实在是厌倦。盲目学习，为的只是一张文凭，为的只是有多点饭吃，值得吗？

他们不管你付出的努力有多大，他们不管你为学习付出的时间有多少，他们只管你有多少张文凭。

I be grateful to whoever willing to help me make a blogskin on particle physics. I also accept blogskins on Math (preferably geometry, number series, trigonometric functions, etc).

"How many dimensions does a point have?"

"...Multiple dimensions! Multiple!"

=.= Dude.

Pandemic 2 rocks.

My mum siao liao, wants me premature. Not like I am having twins right now, why let me drink so much tonics? Not like they will help me become 1st in SMO=.=

Now feeling damn uncomfortable, thanks to cramps.

Screwedz. Sleep also cannot, anything also cannot. T.T

Reading "The Universe in A Nutshell" chinese traditional version.

"I love him for the man he wants to be."

"Kiss me and you'll see stars, love me and I'll give them to you."--Quotes of some weird deciphering game.

Realised this world has no place for emotions.

Thought someone said that Semester 2, Year 2 is the most not stressful time of the 6 years in NUSH. Orly, I wonder. Perhaps it's just me.

"That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings rock. Still don't know why their name is "The Ting Tings" out of everything ><

Which somehow gets me thinking about passing my Chinese homework on time so that I can get something from the school next year.

Step 1: "Aaa" your mouth up.
Step 2: "Blehh" your tongue out.
Step 3: Someone manually "kiaps" the mouth shut.

XDXD to Amanda and YS.

"Mary had a little lamb" becomes "Mary had a little meow."

人，又少了一个 Sleepy的人，又多了二十四个-->Comment on a lesson today. Credits to Yu Jia for the convo. We were writing random stuff, talking about Pokemon (Joanne died-ed twice because of my Psy-duck vs her Pikachu and type advantage respectively), then talking about "lalala-ed, blablabla-ed, meow-ed, zzz-ed, owl-ed, bear-ed, pirate-owled, etc etc. I added the msn convo tabs and display pictures. Mine is =D, Yu Jia's is D=.

Made a holy imprintment of YS being Jesus the weird weird person Da Vinci drew Aiya whatever lar! XD Damn fun, but hands were all black. Still fun.

Before the making of imprintment of the h(o)ley YS purple meteorite, we were playing UNO at Student Lounge. The cards weren't shuffled properly (which may be precisely why we can never ever end the game within god-knows-how-many-minutes), and well....I remember YS was lacking of green cards completely. Highest record of draw cards is 14, which, well, landed on me.

These days me very hungry=.= Have been eating a lot (of biscuits). Bleh.

生命的价值在于什么？ I need a good place to emo and reflect about it, because I realise I had no inspirations. Like damn it.

Perhaps the good thing about my room view is that I can see those big fluffy white clouds float by, like wheeeeee. Among the humongous white ones, hid some shy grey cotton balls, as if afraid to bang into each other and create sparks of raindrops.

The white one is simply huge. Trust me.

To quote someone--Why is love so complicated?

To quote myself--It isn't anyone's fault. It is just how things turn out that screws up our lives.

When we are safe of trouble, we always say that we will act according to logic when something happens. But, when it happens to us, how many people actually really do it?

Love, or at least affection, is not something that can be switched on or off using a switch. Neither is it a string which can be cut using a scissors.

It's possible, but it means pulling and tearing out a big part of your heart, leaving a fragment there which may or may not heal depending on the person.

And for someone who first experience it, they won't dare, and won't bear, to go through such kind of torment, for they think there must be a way to solve the problem the way they see it.

What to expect next?

I am going to scream my head off tomorrow.

Because.

ALL MY MATH PDF FILES ARE GONE! JUST LIKE THAT!

THE MATH PDF FILES I'VE PAINSTAKINGLY DOWNLOADED!

GONE!

I swear electronic devices hate me.

Laptop, MP3 player, HDD.

ALL kana spoil.

What the fork?!

I chiong-ed the chinese homework within 15 minutes and it's not supposed to be handed up by today.

What is all this for?

I am going to leave my blog dead.

I mourn for the loss of all my bookmarks: thinkgeek, Mathematics, Chemistry, Physics applets, kitten wallpapers, etc etc...

I laugh at myself for the loss of passion in doing my homework.

Why must the world work this way? Why do the humans make it work this way?

It's meant to be a good place, it is a good place. No more.

Disappointed.

Lies. Am I the one intricately weaving them? Or am I the one made to believe the lie weaver?

Time and again, you inflict those injuries of mental gore, and send them burning right in the flesh of my heart. Time and again, I put that damned trust on you, believing that what awaits me will be a better future. Time and again, I actually bother to think about you.

All this to realise it's a big lie of yours. Big fat juicy lie.

What do I get out of this big fat juicy lie? Nothing. Just the numbness I always get, only more. Just the tears I cried for you, only less. Just the pain and agony you have put me through, forever.

You send me worrying about you, day and night, and this is what you give me?

I am willing to give my time, love, concern for someone I love devotedly. But not you this time. Not anymore.

I much rather my blog be dead.

All is gone as for now.

Almost all is screwed as for now too.

I feel sleepy as of always.

BioFrenchPhysicsElectiveChinese

What the fork.

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