Looking back into time.

Those posts which I type in short-form. Gosh what happened to my eyes?
Even though it is not twittish typing it's like twittish attitude.
I can't stand it. ><
And now here we are, stepping in to November in 3 day's time.

=)

Unbelievably the school computer lab is open. And I guess I am the only one using it today. Practically the aircon is cold like hell at where I am sitting now. Curse you aircon.

The school is damn quiet and peaceful here (yay) and I can study and concentrate (let me repeat concentrate) in peace also. Then thanks to my curiosity I realised that the comp lab is open! I make sure I won't sit here for more than an hour (anyway there is nothing much on the net, except http://www.humanmarvels.com, which I thought is a half-scary, half-nice website.

Tuesday-YAY ENGLISH! BOO ENGLISH! (Yay because only one comprehension passage and summary writing, boo because only one comprehension passage and summary writing for ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES! *ahem*)

Thursday-Geography. (screw project)

Friday-Yay chemistry! Yay physics! BOO! (Yay because clearing 2 subjects at once, boo because having 2 subjects at once)

Monday-Yay logic and sets! Boo! (Yay because logic is easy, boo because it is illogical to test logic)

Tuesday-YAY BIOLOGY! Boo! (YAY because LAST EXAM!!! Boo because it is only one hour).

Wednesday-YAY NOTHING TO DO! BOO! (Yay because no more exam liao, boo because we know the number of days left to having a heart attack is lesser and lesser).

Labels: yay and boo exams

More.

What kind of mental disorder do you have? - Schizophrenic (WTF)

BTW forgot to mention French exam. Was surprisingly manageable for me, only that I forgot motagne is a mountain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am driving myself crazy. Yay me.

Probably the first girl-fuss post I've ever made (thanks to the upcoming disco).

My face is not smooth. At all. And since hair can be smooth so easily, why the face can't? Why must it be full of spots? >< I only have about half a month left to cure my face. The "overpopulated" face. Nooooo.

I feel bored, so I went to I Am Bored website. I am bored, so I went to do some quizzes. I do some quizzes, so I decided not to embed the widget (complicated) but just to state results.

What kind of lover are you? -Passionate lover.
How many germs live on your keyboard? -Approximately equal to number of germs on 449 toilet seats.
What does your favourite colour say about you? - You are: 1) Emotional, Affected, Sensitive. 2) Peaceful, Tranquil, Connected. 3) Spiritual, Experimental, Deep.

This quiz has some sections:
1) Planner or spontaneous? - Planner.
2) Facts or ideas? - Ideas (You focus on the big picture rather than on details.)
3) Heads or hearts? Hearts (When making a decision, you are driven by your personal values and the feelings of others.)
4) Extrovert or introvert? - Extrovert (You tend to focus on and get your motivation from the world around you.)
Result: You are a mentor. (Please lar I am not Ms Chua okay...-.-)

http://schlicken.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/do-you-think-like-a-psychopath/
This shit is cool.

By far this one is VERY creepy. My results:
Biological age: 13 (duh)
Real age: 1.6

Average life expectancy: 74
Your life expectancy: 85.4

This or that? Answer is dumb like hell: The Girlfriend (You are that perfect girlfriend/boyfriend... You love love... You cherish the though of finding that one person who you can love for forever... That person who you can have fun with or be serious with... You are that person and would love to love someone who was like that as well!)
And they said this quiz is about your personality. Ya right how accurate.

This one is cool.
This one also.

Yan Sheng should consider doing this one: http://www.genius-test.com/

Dots. This website even tells you what pen you should buy-.-

Are you suited for heaven or hell? - You are nowhere near an angelic status, yet you are not quite evil. You know right from wrong, but alternate between purity and demonic in your daily life. Your fate is undeterminable.

Where is your spirit craving to take you to? - Everywhere. (Right now you are craving to go everywhere and meet everyone because you just can't get enough of this life. You have ambitions and dreams that you are determined to accomplish no matter what. You find the world beautiful and mysterious and you have an adventurous spirit. You are going to feel fulfilled when you have experienced and seen as much as possible.)

If you were lost, could you make it back alive? - You might survive. (50/50 chance of getting out of this alive, I hope luck is on your side.)

This website is fun.

That's all for now.

Stupid subjects, pulled me down like shit.

The best way to flood your own blog post is to split an exam post into two, so...

FRENCH!!! Grr!!! >.<

Labels: exam

I officially announce that I hate Chinese comprehensions for wasting so much:

1) Time.
2) Pen ink.
3) Printer ink.
4) Human resources (aka teachers marking and students answering)

Please learn to appreciate dead blogs. Thank you very much. (Somehow I feel jealous to those who have dead blogs.)

Edit: Mr Lee managed to know who that person is liao. >< >< >< >< ><. Should I be happy or sad?!

Labels: exam

Since I am not able to completely dump my blog behind (somehow!!!) might as well update about the exams. Grr ><

26th October 2007
Mother Tongue exam (how much more "nice" can it be?)

This certainly rocks man. Having Chinese exam on Friday is SO cool. ><

Labels: exam

The thing I hate about myself is that I always dump my inspirations (poems) behind.

Good intentions always end up becoming rubbish. And I can't even be myself. Do I even have to doubt my existence? Am I just a phantom haunting NUSH? *touches myself*

I shall go scream at myself tomorrow.

If I ever had the chance to choose which country to go, I would and MUST choose USA. Obviously I want to get LINKIN PARK ALBUMS!!! Woohoo.

See, I am getting more people to hate me. What's the meaning of changing myself when they don't care no matter how much I try? People hate me for the sake of hating me. They just hate someone named Tan Yong Ying. As long as that person is named Tan Yong Ying they will hate her. Reason? No reason. They just hate Tan Yong Ying.

Let's have some emphasis.

I want to go to Linkin Park concert!!!

The world, once in darkness,
was grey and cold.
My heart, once in dismay,
was numb and hard.

The overwhelming blackness,
poisoned me like an evil.
And I myself in the end,
became evil too.

I never liked those roses,
I detested laughter.
I was just an alive corpse,
waiting to be slaughtered.

As the fire burned the roses,
as the pain overtook the laughter,
I laid myself down,
and let those blood flow.

I felt no pain,
I felt no agony.
Those regrets and memories,
were once but never anymore...
as the sun sets.

I was even surprised,
to find myself awake.
And even more surprised,
to find myself healed.

Is it a miracle?
Has the person came?
Though curious and all,
I refused to change.
With memories haunting me,
with ghosts screaming inside me,
I was constantly reminded,
that miracles don't exist...

(to be continued)

What the fish lar all the Linkin Park and kitten wallpapers I painstakingly downloaded are all gone.

Why the fish is the laptop so unfair to me?

Asked my dad to buy NEW laptops, he just don't listen. Smart him. He better let me buy a new laptop by this year or else.

I hate this.

Out of all the days my laptop had to be screwed up on the day before French project. Then I was like what the hell. Okay so no choice had to call Yan Sheng to ask him to do the project=( then I am supposed to call him at certain times to check on him. Then I called punctually except for the last one, when I am supposed to call at 9.15pm. At 9pm I felt so tired and sian thanks to my laptop so I fell asleep, thinking that I would wake up, which I did not.

Then this morning when Yan Sheng came to school he asked me why I did not call him, and then Tricia they all were like "woo" and blah blah blah. Gah>< why they all always bully me derh??!! Only call for project also got problem...felt like strangling him...

But calling him is fun. Especially when you have a screaming sister in the phone. She is interesting, and I feel like seeing her. She must be a fun person. I shall see who can scream louder=D Muahaha. All ears beware.

"With you, everyday is a sunny day. No matter how big the rain is, it will never put out the love between us."

Labels: random

Confession.
Of a poet.

"I don't have inspirations!"

Sighs.

Happy Tree Friends-The Cute Sadist.

Nice title for me, shall update later on as I need inspiration.

Randomness and split-personality is the by-product of natural-born insanity. So...

*Keys of obsession*

It is random. Please give me ideas on things to be obsessed with.

Those stares, those glares.
Those looks of wonder and perhaps insult.
Here we are, students of NUSH,
students of the possibly genius school.
Mighty the school may sound,
but we students are also teenagers.
We too are people with that "normal" mind,
we too have feelings and our own personalities.
We people may be in NUSH,
and NUSH is just another school, we are just some other students.
But why oh why,
are we tagged as aliens?
Why oh why,
we had to be different from others?
We are in NUSH,
does not mean we don't like comp games.
We are in NUSH,
does not mean we can beat every single person.
We are just some other children,
who wish to pursue more and know more.
We started out with an innocent purpose,
but ended up looking like education devils.
We don't understand the whole universe!
We just know more than others!
But what wrong had we done,
to get those glares and stares?
We are in NUSH,
but we are not aliens.
We are in NUSH,
but we are not jerks or nerds.
We also have a heart,
we also have emotions.
So stop hurting our hearts,
stop killing our dignity.
With all those stares and glares.

There was someone who don't feel like updating the blog, and don't know what to update the blog with.

Do have to admit, that these days I really feel tired. First time ever I felt so stressed, so stressed that I break a pen just by throwing it. And it is all thanks to Geography project. More like thanks to the group I was assigned to.

I tried to co-operate with him just only and only this project. Yet all I get is that cold look, all I get is no response. I understand why he hates me and avoids me, I don't care, but can't he just co-operate for a while with a project? Why make things so hard for him and me? (actually he is making life hard for me much more) He knows that carrying on like this will not bring any good to the project. If I had a choice, I would want to back out too, but this is a project, you can't expect me to sit there and stare in the air doing nothing, right?

I also know that my class guys seek me as a retarded loser. To them this whole gang of people I hang out with are just a bunch of losers.

If it was last time (primary school), I may still attack back, And probably things will get better the next time round. But in this case it is different. No matter how much you struggle, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you work hard and try to look "more like it", you will always fail.

Newton's third law states that for every action, an equal but opposite reaction will happen. But people just defy this law. Humans (or specifically humans' nature) just defy this law. No matter how much force I apply, I will always fail.

It's like a solitary bird that wants to soar far away and fly, but end up falling to the ground.
And...
It always falls no matter how hard it tried.

If I am not wrong, I think my impression on boys in this school is that I have a complete bitch attitude. Hard to please, complains about almost anything, rough, screamy, fake, emo, hypocritical, act cute, COMPLETELY bad at studies, shouts like mad woman, etc etc.

I really wonder whether I am seeing my true self. Is this what I truly am? If it is, why it just seems so fake to me? Why it just seems like a loser shouting for attention, only to get more people to hate it? Why my true self just seems like a rotten body, waiting to be thrown away?

I always thought I am a strong person. Who knows I actually am such a weakling?

Whether I want to give up or not is one question. Whether they want to accept me or not is completely another story.

I just want people to be honest with me: Am I just who I am, or am I a complete rubbish, showing its rotten shell to the public?

In school, my ears suffer for some people.
At home, my ears suffer thanks to someone who's so freaking bossy.

Like yaright she knows everything-.-fine whatever. If she wants to say that she has bigger authority, or that she is correct, I can admit. But that does not mean you can dismiss ALL my ideas! Trying to treat a 13 year-old kid like 8 year-old is completely stupid. You WILL end up nowhere. Nowhere as in hatred. Grrr.

I cannot stand freaking people with a stupid attitude, thinking that whatever they say MUST be correct...now I feel like slapping myself. I performed so ****ing badly and I can still smile. Ya right. I still feel hypocritical. Left traumatized, alone in this hell world. What's expected to be expected? Trapped in a self-maze, trying and struggling to get out when I only end up deeper inside a dead end. In fact this maze ends not on top or bottom. It ends in the middle, right in the middle of my heart, where I can stab myself happily and say that hey I am still breathing!

Shit myself. I already need TONS of catching up when I still say that other people sux. Get what I mean by hypocritical? I don't feel like a rubbish on the world. But my heart is like wood compared to other people's hearts that are made of marble.

Labels: random

Yes and I mean it. It is NOT funny.

Wasted 1.5 hours just to get home. Damn 143 broke down, like what the hell. Then 183's route is SOOOOOOO long=(. Should have taken MRT or 105 instead. Not fun. At least I felt happy when I went up the bus^^ thanks again to YS=))

Gym is ok lar, but the three rolls taught are not nice. Forward roll nicer=P

*Woke up from a thousand-year sleep. Wandering about, looking for him.*
I really feel like writing poems.

Oh my god I want to faint liao. Can I? =X

Those oh-my-goodness connections on Friendster are freaking me out.

Like oh-my-god Sin Yee has sooooo many friends. So many until my friends' friends link to her. As many as 4.

Shall I be surprised?

I know Wei Tieng, she knows person A, person A knows person B, person B knows Yan Sheng=O.
Then that person A knows Sin Yee also. Then blah blah and so on.

So confusing I want to faint liao.

Labels: friendster

Yes once again I can prove that IE7 sux.

I had never used it for a long time (except while checking my hotmail) and today when I used IE7 to access my Myspace account, the consequences were catastrophic (more like magnificent).

I actually got so frustrated that I opened 41 task managers.

Pwnage.

Labels: IE7

Preview is screwed, but the real thing is not!!! It took me a week to realise that-.- but still.

Crazy over moonlight, muahaha.

Blogskin changed again, yay me *foxy emoticon*

All are the images' fault! I think=X

God YS is having a gender crisis. Shall elaborate more when I feel like it=P

Miraculously I got 14/15 for my Math journal. Like OMG BBQ WTF. Shall post it up on my ePortfolio. Yay.

Posted something on the Physics forum, presumably hard to answer and comprehend I know, but still. How does it feel like living in a line? Maybe I should write a story about that. Like how people write Flatland. Yay *foxy emoticon*

Project, project, project. GROUP projects. Gah how much shall I hate them? Well at least not as much as the hatred I had towards George Bush. Just to get one man he has to kill so many (and I mean MANY) innocent people. And shall I emphasise innocent? And worse still, the man is NOT caught. So much for wasting so much resources. USA should use those money involved in war to help those poorer countries and not try to get ONE person. USA should use these money and get talents who would help in saving environment. USA should blah blah with the money. -.-

Still regretted not taking Lit. Felt so much like writing poems or philosophical essays about dimensions and wars and science and nature and blah blah. Maybe that is a way to improve my english (or at least let me think more while I am wasting time on Internet). Yes I should concentrate myself on writing essays next time I switch on my computer. Explore the wonders of the world and blah blah.

If someone could give me a video cam I feel like going back to West Coast and record how I played with the Flying Fox. I mean, the memories I had there are just so nice. Absence does make love grow fonder, and those once-in-a-while fun and memories are just so worth remembering. Suddenly I felt grateful to be in 106 and not 101. Somehow it seems like this gap was what caused this affinity. Gah. Or maybe I should thank NUSH for the French class=x.

After talking shit for so long I realise I had not written Chinese poems for a millennium=(

*Should I post a pic?!*

Sighs, blogger screwed, cannot change the skin properly. Sianz. Nothing much these days, so well. But today is fun.

Am posting from Comp lab 1 now. Infocom rocks. Known some friends who are totally crazy too^^ and agrees with my values=)).

Someone help me repair my skin....please...TT.TT

Labels: school life

If dreaming was a state of you being in the forth dimension, that does not make sense at all. Or maybe it does.

For one thing I can't believed I talk to her (ok fine whatever). Another thing: My promise for my future students is that I will never be a Chemistry teacher. I will reach a stage of self-generated insanity.

Biology practical was fun. Looking at Paramecium reminds me of those fast-forward traffic motion video.=O

Online o2jam is fun. Trust me.

Labels: school life

If everyday was the 1000th day...then we could play flying fox everyday, then we could fly the kites everyday, then we could lie down on the field everyday. Sighs...

Screwed up my personal choice, thought I spoke loud enough. Maybe the girls expected me to shout-.-but my hands were shivering, what do you want me to do? Gosh. I almost fainted when I was answering Gayathri's question. Scary.

PE? Gymnastics? Lol? I do have to agree that gymnastics is fun
. Especially when you try to do a highkick and you fall flat on your butt instead. That's what happened to me=O
'
Geography had some role-play...feel screwed. What JuicyMangoes, gah >.< it="P)" style="font-style: italic;">never be fun. Unless you have a mass copying session.

Labels: school life

Writing my life story with my blood and tears

* Name: Tan Yong Ying
* School: NUS High School of Math & Science
* Class: M07106, M08206, M09304
* House: Faraday

Looking back into time.

Those posts which I type in short-form. Gosh what happened to my eyes?
Even though it is not twittish typing it's like twittish attitude.
I can't stand it. ><
And now here we are, stepping in to November in 3 day's time.

=)

Unbelievably the school computer lab is open. And I guess I am the only one using it today. Practically the aircon is cold like hell at where I am sitting now. Curse you aircon.

The school is damn quiet and peaceful here (yay) and I can study and concentrate (let me repeat concentrate) in peace also. Then thanks to my curiosity I realised that the comp lab is open! I make sure I won't sit here for more than an hour (anyway there is nothing much on the net, except http://www.humanmarvels.com, which I thought is a half-scary, half-nice website.

Tuesday-YAY ENGLISH! BOO ENGLISH! (Yay because only one comprehension passage and summary writing, boo because only one comprehension passage and summary writing for ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES! *ahem*)

Thursday-Geography. (screw project)

Friday-Yay chemistry! Yay physics! BOO! (Yay because clearing 2 subjects at once, boo because having 2 subjects at once)

Monday-Yay logic and sets! Boo! (Yay because logic is easy, boo because it is illogical to test logic)

Tuesday-YAY BIOLOGY! Boo! (YAY because LAST EXAM!!! Boo because it is only one hour).

Wednesday-YAY NOTHING TO DO! BOO! (Yay because no more exam liao, boo because we know the number of days left to having a heart attack is lesser and lesser).

Labels: yay and boo exams

More.

What kind of mental disorder do you have? - Schizophrenic (WTF)

BTW forgot to mention French exam. Was surprisingly manageable for me, only that I forgot motagne is a mountain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am driving myself crazy. Yay me.

Probably the first girl-fuss post I've ever made (thanks to the upcoming disco).

My face is not smooth. At all. And since hair can be smooth so easily, why the face can't? Why must it be full of spots? >< I only have about half a month left to cure my face. The "overpopulated" face. Nooooo.

I feel bored, so I went to I Am Bored website. I am bored, so I went to do some quizzes. I do some quizzes, so I decided not to embed the widget (complicated) but just to state results.

What kind of lover are you? -Passionate lover.
How many germs live on your keyboard? -Approximately equal to number of germs on 449 toilet seats.
What does your favourite colour say about you? - You are: 1) Emotional, Affected, Sensitive. 2) Peaceful, Tranquil, Connected. 3) Spiritual, Experimental, Deep.

This quiz has some sections:
1) Planner or spontaneous? - Planner.
2) Facts or ideas? - Ideas (You focus on the big picture rather than on details.)
3) Heads or hearts? Hearts (When making a decision, you are driven by your personal values and the feelings of others.)
4) Extrovert or introvert? - Extrovert (You tend to focus on and get your motivation from the world around you.)
Result: You are a mentor. (Please lar I am not Ms Chua okay...-.-)

http://schlicken.blogsome.com/2007/08/26/do-you-think-like-a-psychopath/
This shit is cool.

By far this one is VERY creepy. My results:
Biological age: 13 (duh)
Real age: 1.6

Average life expectancy: 74
Your life expectancy: 85.4

This or that? Answer is dumb like hell: The Girlfriend (You are that perfect girlfriend/boyfriend... You love love... You cherish the though of finding that one person who you can love for forever... That person who you can have fun with or be serious with... You are that person and would love to love someone who was like that as well!)
And they said this quiz is about your personality. Ya right how accurate.

This one is cool.
This one also.

Yan Sheng should consider doing this one: http://www.genius-test.com/

Dots. This website even tells you what pen you should buy-.-

Are you suited for heaven or hell? - You are nowhere near an angelic status, yet you are not quite evil. You know right from wrong, but alternate between purity and demonic in your daily life. Your fate is undeterminable.

Where is your spirit craving to take you to? - Everywhere. (Right now you are craving to go everywhere and meet everyone because you just can't get enough of this life. You have ambitions and dreams that you are determined to accomplish no matter what. You find the world beautiful and mysterious and you have an adventurous spirit. You are going to feel fulfilled when you have experienced and seen as much as possible.)

If you were lost, could you make it back alive? - You might survive. (50/50 chance of getting out of this alive, I hope luck is on your side.)

This website is fun.

That's all for now.

Stupid subjects, pulled me down like shit.

The best way to flood your own blog post is to split an exam post into two, so...

FRENCH!!! Grr!!! >.<

Labels: exam

I officially announce that I hate Chinese comprehensions for wasting so much:

1) Time.
2) Pen ink.
3) Printer ink.
4) Human resources (aka teachers marking and students answering)

Please learn to appreciate dead blogs. Thank you very much. (Somehow I feel jealous to those who have dead blogs.)

Edit: Mr Lee managed to know who that person is liao. >< >< >< >< ><. Should I be happy or sad?!

Labels: exam

Since I am not able to completely dump my blog behind (somehow!!!) might as well update about the exams. Grr ><

26th October 2007
Mother Tongue exam (how much more "nice" can it be?)

This certainly rocks man. Having Chinese exam on Friday is SO cool. ><

Labels: exam

The thing I hate about myself is that I always dump my inspirations (poems) behind.

Good intentions always end up becoming rubbish. And I can't even be myself. Do I even have to doubt my existence? Am I just a phantom haunting NUSH? *touches myself*

I shall go scream at myself tomorrow.

If I ever had the chance to choose which country to go, I would and MUST choose USA. Obviously I want to get LINKIN PARK ALBUMS!!! Woohoo.

See, I am getting more people to hate me. What's the meaning of changing myself when they don't care no matter how much I try? People hate me for the sake of hating me. They just hate someone named Tan Yong Ying. As long as that person is named Tan Yong Ying they will hate her. Reason? No reason. They just hate Tan Yong Ying.

Let's have some emphasis.

I want to go to Linkin Park concert!!!

The world, once in darkness,
was grey and cold.
My heart, once in dismay,
was numb and hard.

The overwhelming blackness,
poisoned me like an evil.
And I myself in the end,
became evil too.

I never liked those roses,
I detested laughter.
I was just an alive corpse,
waiting to be slaughtered.

As the fire burned the roses,
as the pain overtook the laughter,
I laid myself down,
and let those blood flow.

I felt no pain,
I felt no agony.
Those regrets and memories,
were once but never anymore...
as the sun sets.

I was even surprised,
to find myself awake.
And even more surprised,
to find myself healed.

Is it a miracle?
Has the person came?
Though curious and all,
I refused to change.
With memories haunting me,
with ghosts screaming inside me,
I was constantly reminded,
that miracles don't exist...

(to be continued)

What the fish lar all the Linkin Park and kitten wallpapers I painstakingly downloaded are all gone.

Why the fish is the laptop so unfair to me?

Asked my dad to buy NEW laptops, he just don't listen. Smart him. He better let me buy a new laptop by this year or else.

I hate this.

Out of all the days my laptop had to be screwed up on the day before French project. Then I was like what the hell. Okay so no choice had to call Yan Sheng to ask him to do the project=( then I am supposed to call him at certain times to check on him. Then I called punctually except for the last one, when I am supposed to call at 9.15pm. At 9pm I felt so tired and sian thanks to my laptop so I fell asleep, thinking that I would wake up, which I did not.

Then this morning when Yan Sheng came to school he asked me why I did not call him, and then Tricia they all were like "woo" and blah blah blah. Gah>< why they all always bully me derh??!! Only call for project also got problem...felt like strangling him...

But calling him is fun. Especially when you have a screaming sister in the phone. She is interesting, and I feel like seeing her. She must be a fun person. I shall see who can scream louder=D Muahaha. All ears beware.

"With you, everyday is a sunny day. No matter how big the rain is, it will never put out the love between us."

Labels: random

Confession.
Of a poet.

"I don't have inspirations!"

Sighs.

Happy Tree Friends-The Cute Sadist.

Nice title for me, shall update later on as I need inspiration.

Randomness and split-personality is the by-product of natural-born insanity. So...

*Keys of obsession*

It is random. Please give me ideas on things to be obsessed with.

Those stares, those glares.
Those looks of wonder and perhaps insult.
Here we are, students of NUSH,
students of the possibly genius school.
Mighty the school may sound,
but we students are also teenagers.
We too are people with that "normal" mind,
we too have feelings and our own personalities.
We people may be in NUSH,
and NUSH is just another school, we are just some other students.
But why oh why,
are we tagged as aliens?
Why oh why,
we had to be different from others?
We are in NUSH,
does not mean we don't like comp games.
We are in NUSH,
does not mean we can beat every single person.
We are just some other children,
who wish to pursue more and know more.
We started out with an innocent purpose,
but ended up looking like education devils.
We don't understand the whole universe!
We just know more than others!
But what wrong had we done,
to get those glares and stares?
We are in NUSH,
but we are not aliens.
We are in NUSH,
but we are not jerks or nerds.
We also have a heart,
we also have emotions.
So stop hurting our hearts,
stop killing our dignity.
With all those stares and glares.

There was someone who don't feel like updating the blog, and don't know what to update the blog with.

Do have to admit, that these days I really feel tired. First time ever I felt so stressed, so stressed that I break a pen just by throwing it. And it is all thanks to Geography project. More like thanks to the group I was assigned to.

I tried to co-operate with him just only and only this project. Yet all I get is that cold look, all I get is no response. I understand why he hates me and avoids me, I don't care, but can't he just co-operate for a while with a project? Why make things so hard for him and me? (actually he is making life hard for me much more) He knows that carrying on like this will not bring any good to the project. If I had a choice, I would want to back out too, but this is a project, you can't expect me to sit there and stare in the air doing nothing, right?

I also know that my class guys seek me as a retarded loser. To them this whole gang of people I hang out with are just a bunch of losers.

If it was last time (primary school), I may still attack back, And probably things will get better the next time round. But in this case it is different. No matter how much you struggle, no matter how much you try, no matter how much you work hard and try to look "more like it", you will always fail.

Newton's third law states that for every action, an equal but opposite reaction will happen. But people just defy this law. Humans (or specifically humans' nature) just defy this law. No matter how much force I apply, I will always fail.

It's like a solitary bird that wants to soar far away and fly, but end up falling to the ground.
And...
It always falls no matter how hard it tried.

If I am not wrong, I think my impression on boys in this school is that I have a complete bitch attitude. Hard to please, complains about almost anything, rough, screamy, fake, emo, hypocritical, act cute, COMPLETELY bad at studies, shouts like mad woman, etc etc.

I really wonder whether I am seeing my true self. Is this what I truly am? If it is, why it just seems so fake to me? Why it just seems like a loser shouting for attention, only to get more people to hate it? Why my true self just seems like a rotten body, waiting to be thrown away?

I always thought I am a strong person. Who knows I actually am such a weakling?

Whether I want to give up or not is one question. Whether they want to accept me or not is completely another story.

I just want people to be honest with me: Am I just who I am, or am I a complete rubbish, showing its rotten shell to the public?

In school, my ears suffer for some people.
At home, my ears suffer thanks to someone who's so freaking bossy.

Like yaright she knows everything-.-fine whatever. If she wants to say that she has bigger authority, or that she is correct, I can admit. But that does not mean you can dismiss ALL my ideas! Trying to treat a 13 year-old kid like 8 year-old is completely stupid. You WILL end up nowhere. Nowhere as in hatred. Grrr.

I cannot stand freaking people with a stupid attitude, thinking that whatever they say MUST be correct...now I feel like slapping myself. I performed so ****ing badly and I can still smile. Ya right. I still feel hypocritical. Left traumatized, alone in this hell world. What's expected to be expected? Trapped in a self-maze, trying and struggling to get out when I only end up deeper inside a dead end. In fact this maze ends not on top or bottom. It ends in the middle, right in the middle of my heart, where I can stab myself happily and say that hey I am still breathing!

Shit myself. I already need TONS of catching up when I still say that other people sux. Get what I mean by hypocritical? I don't feel like a rubbish on the world. But my heart is like wood compared to other people's hearts that are made of marble.

Labels: random

Yes and I mean it. It is NOT funny.

Wasted 1.5 hours just to get home. Damn 143 broke down, like what the hell. Then 183's route is SOOOOOOO long=(. Should have taken MRT or 105 instead. Not fun. At least I felt happy when I went up the bus^^ thanks again to YS=))

Gym is ok lar, but the three rolls taught are not nice. Forward roll nicer=P

*Woke up from a thousand-year sleep. Wandering about, looking for him.*
I really feel like writing poems.

Oh my god I want to faint liao. Can I? =X

Those oh-my-goodness connections on Friendster are freaking me out.

Like oh-my-god Sin Yee has sooooo many friends. So many until my friends' friends link to her. As many as 4.

Shall I be surprised?

I know Wei Tieng, she knows person A, person A knows person B, person B knows Yan Sheng=O.
Then that person A knows Sin Yee also. Then blah blah and so on.

So confusing I want to faint liao.

Labels: friendster

Yes once again I can prove that IE7 sux.

I had never used it for a long time (except while checking my hotmail) and today when I used IE7 to access my Myspace account, the consequences were catastrophic (more like magnificent).

I actually got so frustrated that I opened 41 task managers.

Pwnage.

Labels: IE7

Preview is screwed, but the real thing is not!!! It took me a week to realise that-.- but still.

Crazy over moonlight, muahaha.

Blogskin changed again, yay me *foxy emoticon*

All are the images' fault! I think=X

God YS is having a gender crisis. Shall elaborate more when I feel like it=P

Miraculously I got 14/15 for my Math journal. Like OMG BBQ WTF. Shall post it up on my ePortfolio. Yay.

Posted something on the Physics forum, presumably hard to answer and comprehend I know, but still. How does it feel like living in a line? Maybe I should write a story about that. Like how people write Flatland. Yay *foxy emoticon*

Project, project, project. GROUP projects. Gah how much shall I hate them? Well at least not as much as the hatred I had towards George Bush. Just to get one man he has to kill so many (and I mean MANY) innocent people. And shall I emphasise innocent? And worse still, the man is NOT caught. So much for wasting so much resources. USA should use those money involved in war to help those poorer countries and not try to get ONE person. USA should use these money and get talents who would help in saving environment. USA should blah blah with the money. -.-

Still regretted not taking Lit. Felt so much like writing poems or philosophical essays about dimensions and wars and science and nature and blah blah. Maybe that is a way to improve my english (or at least let me think more while I am wasting time on Internet). Yes I should concentrate myself on writing essays next time I switch on my computer. Explore the wonders of the world and blah blah.

If someone could give me a video cam I feel like going back to West Coast and record how I played with the Flying Fox. I mean, the memories I had there are just so nice. Absence does make love grow fonder, and those once-in-a-while fun and memories are just so worth remembering. Suddenly I felt grateful to be in 106 and not 101. Somehow it seems like this gap was what caused this affinity. Gah. Or maybe I should thank NUSH for the French class=x.

After talking shit for so long I realise I had not written Chinese poems for a millennium=(

*Should I post a pic?!*

Sighs, blogger screwed, cannot change the skin properly. Sianz. Nothing much these days, so well. But today is fun.

Am posting from Comp lab 1 now. Infocom rocks. Known some friends who are totally crazy too^^ and agrees with my values=)).

Someone help me repair my skin....please...TT.TT

Labels: school life

If dreaming was a state of you being in the forth dimension, that does not make sense at all. Or maybe it does.

For one thing I can't believed I talk to her (ok fine whatever). Another thing: My promise for my future students is that I will never be a Chemistry teacher. I will reach a stage of self-generated insanity.

Biology practical was fun. Looking at Paramecium reminds me of those fast-forward traffic motion video.=O

Online o2jam is fun. Trust me.

Labels: school life

If everyday was the 1000th day...then we could play flying fox everyday, then we could fly the kites everyday, then we could lie down on the field everyday. Sighs...

Screwed up my personal choice, thought I spoke loud enough. Maybe the girls expected me to shout-.-but my hands were shivering, what do you want me to do? Gosh. I almost fainted when I was answering Gayathri's question. Scary.

PE? Gymnastics? Lol? I do have to agree that gymnastics is fun
. Especially when you try to do a highkick and you fall flat on your butt instead. That's what happened to me=O
'
Geography had some role-play...feel screwed. What JuicyMangoes, gah >.< it="P)" style="font-style: italic;">never be fun. Unless you have a mass copying session.

Labels: school life

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