Saturday, August 30, 2008
Pwnage websites @ 9:03 PM
http://www.physlink.com/Fun/Index.cfm
http://brownsharpie.courtneygibbons.org/
http://mathbunnies.nfshost.com/meh/

They be damn pwn. XD

May have discovered one or two (actually three) new bands, just that too engrossed with the entertaining comics to bother.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Realisation @ 8:19 PM
Realised that the reason I became so screwed in music sense can be seen in my blogskin.

Colourful mess.

So, what do you expect?

Played "Luminara" with Josephine. Cleared the game (O.O) and realised it's damn shuang to play this kinda game with 2 people XD

The goodness of playing a game with a gamer. Ok that was redundant.
The Party Is Over @ 1:28 PM
The Party Is Over--Lacrimosa
I lost you in the morning
When the snow felt in our world
I lost you in the cold
Between these shades of our illusions
I found an empire of love and pain
Within this kiss - this kiss goodbye
For I will never
Forget your face
Behind the window
Of this parting train

I asked the moon
To bring you back into my arms
I called the win to guide your way
I begged the earth to hold you tight
Keep you from harm
I send you kisses in my dreams
For I know
We had our time
I close the door
The party is over

Imposing our love
Through all the years we have to face
Now I am on my own
Passing through these fields of memories
All these visions of my temple dream
I sacrifice my everything
For I will never
Forget your face
Behind the window
Of this parting train

I asked the moon
To bring you back into my arms
I called the win to guide your way
I begged the earth to hold you tight
Keep you from harm
I send you kisses in my dreams
For I know
We had our time
I close the door
The party is over

Seele In Not--Lacrimosa
Halte jetzt die Fackel
An mein Gesicht
Ein Vogel gleitet Ÿbers Wasser
Doch er sieht mich nicht
Mein Schiff ist lŠngst gesunken
Ich bin am ertrinken
Ich kenne so viele Hilfeschreie
Doch kein Schiff in Sicht

Nur verlorene Stunden
Nur verlorene Tage
Verloren wenn wir sterben
Verloren an was ?
Doch ich lebe
Ich lebe immer noch
Ich lebe
Als eine LŸge

Und die Liebe
Eine Illusion
Du tanzt im Licht der Zeit
Du tanzt in Eitelkeit
Eine leere Flasche
Und ich sterbe vor Durst
Keine Kerze hat mehr Feuer
Doch mein Herz verbrennt

Ich hšre den Schrei eines Babies
LŸge im ersten Atemzug
Asche zu Asche - Staub zu Staub
Der sŸnde sei vergeben
Blind vor Wut - Blind vor Schmerz
Taub aus Liebe - Stumm vor Angst
Kann ich mich nicht mehr halten
Verliere den Verstand

Ich kenne nicht deine Stimme -
Kann dich ja nicht verstehen
Weiss nicht mal wie du aussiehst -
Habe dich ja nie gesehen
Kann nicht mal zu dir sprechen -
Nicht mal diesen Satz :
Ich liebe Dich !

Ich verfluche die Erinnerung und schicke
sie weit fort
Sie legt sich in mein Grab und wŠrmt
fŸr mich den Sarg
Gemalte Bilder schmeicheln nur
Denn wer malt schon was so HŠsslich ist ?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Weird @ 5:00 PM
Amanda says that my music sense is such that metal music = lullaby.

Yea sure, now I am listening to this German symphonic metal band, discovered on Wikipedia, called Lacrimosa.

And.

Wikipedia is your best friend for providing weird lists of music categories, and a good place to discover weird music for my liking.

Mediafire.com is the best place to get free music.

Lichtgestalt--Lacrimosa
Ich bin der Atem auf deiner Haut
Ich bin der Samt um deinen Körper
Ich bin der Kuss in deinem Nacken
Ich bin der Glanz auf deinen Wimpern

Ich bin die Fülle deiner Haare
Ich bin der Winkel deiner Augen
Bin der Abdruck deiner Finger
Ich bin der Saft in deinen Adern
Und Tag für Tag durchströme ich dein Herz

So schnell du auch fliehst,
So weit du auch kommst
Trägst du mich mit dir
Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

So schnell du auch fliehst,
So weit du auch kommst
Trägst du mich mit dir
Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Ich bin der ungelebte Traum
Ich bin die Sehnsucht, die dich jagt
Ich bin der Schmerz zwischen deinen Beinen
Ich bin der Schrei in deinem Kopf

Ich bin das Schweigen, die Angst deiner Seele
Ich bin die Lüge, der Verlust deiner Würde
Ich bin die Ohnmacht, die Wut deines Herzes
Ich bin das Licht, zu dem du einst wirst

So schnell du auch fliehst,
So weit du auch kommst
Trägst du mich mit dir
Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

So schnell du auch fliehst,
So weit du auch kommst
Trägst du mich mit dir
Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Wohin du auch gehst,
Was immer du tust
Ich bin ein Teil von dir

Lichtgestalt, in deren Schatten ich mich drehe

Translated version:
Go translate it yourself. It screws up when I copy and paste. T.T

Currently listening to "Lichtgestalt", "My Last Goodbye" and "Copycat".

My music sense is nuts.

My Last Goodbye--Lacrimosa
Not here - not now
Not with me and
Not with a single tear of mine
There is no pain
There won't be no fear
Zhis is my last goodbye
Cause I won't die

Not here - not now
No regrets - It was just another lesson in my life
I close the door
I clean my own place
This is my last goodbye
Beforde I die

And when you fail
You seem to swollow
Everything that comes to you
And if you fall I am the one
Who takes you by his hand

Don't take this love
Please don't stock on this romance

Fleeing from your love and far away
You say goodbye
But I live in the ruins of your love
I am just a tear upon your face
You are the sun that sets for me
I'll be gone
While I'll be waiting
This is my last goodbye

There is that much history
There is that much to learn
How can we do all the same mistakes again
An no-one cares
Fascinating to grow old
It's fascinating to be born
Fascinating to decide
And sometimes even to be right

Here I stand alone
And now I say goodbye
I leave this place - with a smile
And with my breathing -
Sometimes bleeding -
Not unuseful soul
I'm leaving this society
But not my body nor soul

Right here - right now
With no regrets
I say goodbye
I am a Queen
And I will rule my life!
And when you fail
You seem to swollow
Everything that comes to you
And if you fall I am the one
Who takes you by his hand

Fleeing from your love and far away
You say goodbye
But I live in the ruins of your love
I am just a tear upon your face
You are the sun that sets for me
I'll be gone
While I'll be waiting
This is my last goodbye

Copycat--Lacrimosa
Come a little bit closer
And hear what I've got to say
Burning words of anger
Of hate and desperation

What if I break the silence?
What if I do forgive the past?

I know it might sound funny
To tell you what I felt
I mean I really loved you
It's a shame - my fault - I know
But why - but why
Why are you so stupid?
But why - but why
Why are you so stupid?

Fuck you and your killing lies
I hate your pissing attitude
Why did you have to go so low
Trueler - Copycat

What if I break the silence?
What if I do forgive the past?

Sucking like a vampire
The blood of all your friends
But sorry, my blood was poisoned
Now burn in hell

You killed the love
You killed the trust

Know die. Sucker. Die!!!

What if I break the silence
What if I do forgive the past?
Friday, August 22, 2008
微笑 @ 9:26 PM
很久没看到他那会心一笑。

只是希望他快乐一点,没想到……

Sighs, is it really that out of place?

I really need Beethoven Symphony No. 5 now. Someone send it to me already? T.T
Monday, August 18, 2008
Moved @ 1:16 AM
This paragraph has been moved.

Will be rebuilt either by tommorow, or never.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Loud and Clear @ 9:08 AM
Loud and Clear--The Cranberries
I hope that you miss me
Put me down on history
I feel such a reject now
Get yourself a life
I hope that you’re sorry
For not accepting me
For not adoring me
That’s why I’m not your wife

People are stranger
People in danger
People are stranger
People deranged or

I remember there was
Nothing I could ever do
Never could impress you
Even if I tried
Tell somebody who cares
Fill the room with empty stares
Go to bed and say my prayers
Keep them satisfied

People are stranger
People in danger
People are stranger
People deranged

Loud and clear I make my point my dear

I hope that you never
Get the things you wanted to
Now I cast a spell on you
Complicate your life
Hope you get a puncture
Everywhere you ever drive
Hope the sun beats down on you and
Skin youself alive

Ra la la la la la la la
Ra la la la la la la la x4

Promises--The Cranberries
You better belive I’m coming
You better believe what I say
You better hold on to your promises
Because you bet, you’ll get what you deserve
She’s going to leave him over
She’s gonna take her love away
So much for your eternal vows, well
It does not matter anyway

Why can’t you stay here awhile
Stay here awhile
Stay with me

Oh, all the promises we made
All the meaningless and empty words
I prayed, prayed, prayed
Oh, all the promises we broke
All the meaningless and empty words
I spoke, spoke, spoke

Do-do-do, do-do-do,
Do-do-do, do-do-do

What of all the things that you taught me
What of all the things that you’d say
What of all your prophetic preaching
You’re just throwing it all away
Maybe we should burn the house down
Have ourselves another fight
Leave the cobwebs in the closet
’cos tearing them out is just not right

Why can’t you stay here awhile
Stay here awhile
Stay with me, oh oh

Oh eh, oh eh, oh eh,
Oh eh, oh eh x3

Do-do-do, do-do-do,
Do-do-do, do-do-do

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee--The Cranberries
I, I went to hell
I might as well
Learn by my mistakes

I at twenty-four
Was insecure
To whatever it takes

Come on now
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
It's time, smell the coffee, the coffee
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
This time smell the coffee, the coffee

She's only got one reason to live
Isn't your life?
She's only got one message to give
Giving tonight

She's so bored
Just I'll
Do anything
She's so cored
Just I'll
Lose everything, everyday

Come on now
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
It's time, smell the coffee, the coffee
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
It's time, smell the coffee, the coffee

She's only got one reason to live
Isn't your life?
She's only got one message to give
Giving tonight

She's so bored
Just I'll
Do anything
She's so cored
Just I'll
Lose everything

She's so bored
Just I'll
Do anything
She's so cored
Just I'll
Lose everything, everyday


So I chiong-ed 43 chapters of a story in one night, for 4 over hours. And right now I am completely absorbed into the sequel, which is...ouch. How much longer am I going to spend reading it?

Gonna whack myself for a few days. I just don't know how to continue my story. Gah.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Noninspira @ 9:34 PM
Yes, another noninspira times. Well, I do see the back of someone looking at the sunset at NUSH concourse. but what about before that? The person can't exactly wake up, go to school and wait for returning home immediately right?

Wait I got things flowing in.

But, before I even let the things happen, don't I need to develop the characters? Damn, I suck at that. I am only good at describing feelings. What the forks and spoons.
模糊的视线 @ 11:36 AM
搞清事情原委之后,我醒来了。眼前的野兽不见了,取而代之的,是我的朋友。

“婷!”一个拥抱,把我的知觉全找了回来。

病房里全部的人都喜极而泣。我竟迷迷糊糊的晕了十天。

十天?十年还差不多。啊乱死了。

“你到底是怎么搞得?谁叫你,从那个……”婷对我说着。

“别说这么多话!”那是金枝,唯一一个比我矮的小女生。

到底怎么了?奇怪……

不管这么多,我向每个朋友来个熊抱,也许我已不知不觉地把他们抱得喘不过气来,死了呢
。但他们还活生生地站着。哈。

“还有……又一件事……我要告诉你……”

听语气,似乎不是好消息。心里痛了一阵。他……

“难道,他……”我几乎崩溃着问道。

金枝轻轻的点了点头。我叫了一声。忽然,有人敲了敲门,然后那粉白色的门轻轻打开。

是他。

可是,都来不及和他说话,来不及握他的手,忽然一道刺眼的亮光照向我。我下意识地闭上眼睛。

镇开眼,床边看到的,是我的父母。那刺眼的光,是我的房灯。还以为我上学要迟到了,他们才索性开灯来“唤醒”我。但他们那着急的样子……

“爸,妈,我到底怎么了?”

“你还好吧?你一晚已经尖叫不是多少次了!还有看你,全省都冒冷汗!真不知道你学校里发生什么事……”

听他们这么一说,我摸了摸我的额头,再看看我周围的事物。没有野兽,没有巫婆,没有粉白色的门,没有数学考卷,什么都没有。只有我的书桌、我的书包等等。

想着想着这一切发生的经过……我才明白。

这全是一场噩梦,一场代表我那模糊的视线的噩梦。

接着,我赶紧换上校服,穿着鞋子,准备去上学。

这一切,到底想告诉我什么?

EDIT: Sorry if you are getting confused, I edited the part when she woke up. Hope you get a clearer distinction, if not the clearest possible. Bah.
逃避? @ 10:26 AM
走着走着,自己竟走到了绝境。小巷已经到尾了,逃避现实、逃避伤痛的游戏也已经结束了


“我会慢慢地、慢慢地,把你的心一片一片的刮下来!

好刺痛的字句啊。

“我已经警告你了,竟敢不听我的话?哈,自作自受啊!禁酒不喝喝罚酒,似乎是你的专长啊……你就这么渴望痛苦的感觉?”

声音是近,还是遥远?人说的,还是鬼唱的?

“白痴!自己都不知道自己在干什么!你怎么,这么快就把我这知己给忘了?唉,难道你就真的这么不喜欢我吗?真是的,亏我对你还这么好。”

熟悉是熟悉,但我就是不知道他是谁啊!都不说名字,也不给我看他的脸,叫我怎么认他嘛……

他的脸闪电般刺穿我的心。

他?

这副鬼声音?

接着又听到那该死的尖叫。相信我,那些尖叫我听了都有些烦,但我除了叫,什么都做不了

“记得我吗?不记得我也得记得那片黑暗啊?记得你那时多么无助吗?“

黑暗。那片黑暗。

觉悟摆在眼前,事实反复重播,现在该做的是跑回亮光,再找另外一条路。一条带我走向他的路。

”想跑?好啊,看你有什么能耐。“

说着, 绝境突然伸出一只血手,紧紧地握住刀,似植物般静静地爬向我。刀上那双眼笑眯眯的看着我。

这把刀还真是特别……

嗤!早已料到了,还当我是笨蛋?二话不说,往回头跑。

接着,胸口被插中一刀。这次,这把刀没有双眼,但是却会大笑几声。糟糕,他的笑声怎么像那该死的闹钟?

然后眼前看到的,是我的数学考卷。

”Year 2s and Year 4s, the time now is 8am. You have 45 minutes. Ok you may start writing now."

我的天啊。原来逃避现实,没我想象中的容易。

考卷上的第一题,是关于黎曼猜想。题目要我们写出它的数学证明。

我的天啊。

EDIT: Chinese wikipedia would help quite a bit.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Screwit @ 9:24 PM
Originally the name for our IP Project last year, now to describe what I am in.

Me? Bella?

Not in the appetite for dinner.

My heart felt like it contracted and been frozen up after Physics elective. Can't breath, can't take it anymore.

What exactly am I doing?

I want to scream at the pillars, scream at myself.

But, that made a point also...

Well, thanks to Ting, Su, Trish, Amanda, Jo, Vivian, YS, Wei Ren even, who have cared for me and been there for me. Supporting me whenever I need help, helping me out whenever I am screwed up, or in a state of bluriness from the truth.

Especially YS. I have no ways to describe how much he had stood alongside with me all this while.

And I would like to thank my class too. Even though we may not talk much, but you guys will still be friendly to me whenever I am around. I may have complained a bit about the 'class spirit', but when I think back about it, I realised that as almost 2 years had passed, the class bonds have been etched deeply in one way or another in us. No matter what, we still stay together on the same boat, face the lessons together xD. So thanks a lot.

Thanks to my teachers, who had tutored me with much patience and tolerated my weird marks. Their values also shape the morals in me, and teach me what it is to be a good teacher.

And, sorry.

I feel like a murderor now. And it seems like I will be one whether I like it or not.

Apparently I watched this korean movie about human dissection, today I am listening to "Zombie".

Now I feel like a murderor with crimson red blood stained on my hands.
The Movie @ 3:04 PM
The movie was epic! As usual, we were "screaming" about the screwed up in Physics in "A Journey Through the center of Earth". It is so geographical, I kept recalling about Plinian volcanoes and magma, lava... The igneous rocks...

And we were laughing at some parts which the rest did not. Oh well. we being the NUSH students who are oh-so-geeky XD.

Zombie--The Cranberries
Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...

Another mother's breakin',
Heart is taking over.
When the vi'lence causes silence,
We must be mistaken.

It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen.
In your head, in your head they're still fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are dying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, oh, ya, ya-a...

The voice is gothic. So gothic the lyrics hurt right through my heart.

Ouch.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Noninspira @ 10:09 PM
Not a day for inspirations today.

Unless I study Geography later on and decide to develop a paragraph using volcanoes as the topic.=.=

Nothing much today. French test was quite ok, got this section which got me and YS freaking out like siao.

And now my name is "meow" while Yong Kiat became "Susan".

French lessons rock as usual lar.
Monday, August 11, 2008
@ 7:20 PM
先是喜悦、兴奋、期待,后是失落、迷惘、尖叫。

“她……她终于醒过来了!护士,护士快来!”

那是谁?怎么声音这么的怪异?她为什么会在我身边?怎么外头是一片的吵杂……?我使劲睁开眼睛一看,双目前的野兽正虎视眈眈的看着我。想问它,究竟想对我干吗?可那些字怎都说不出口?

睁大着双眼,朝野兽左右看看,想寻找一丝人类的存在,可全都是野兽。一只只丑陋、可恶、肮脏的野兽!

为……为什么……

“我在那里?地狱吗?你们,是专门处罚我、折磨我、把我撕成碎片的地狱官吗?”

离我最近的野兽用那种疑惑的眼神看着我:“你在说啥?什么地狱啊?这里是医院,医院!你自作聪明,从那……”

“少说一句话不行吗?非要把她吓死不成?”

受不了了。脑袋过滤不了这么多现实的垃圾。受不了了。

什么都听不到,只听到一声尖叫。后才发现,声音熟悉是因为尖叫的人是我……

忽然一瞬间,脑海里有一张人脸闪过,正对着我微笑。我心噗嗵噗嗵的跳啊跳的。他,他应该会回来找我,对吗?还是……我的朋友!我那些朋友,都到哪里去了?他们不是说会一直陪我到最后吗?还是他们终于受不了我对他们的唠叨、埋怨,而离我而去?

不会的,不会的!他们不会背叛我!他们一定在这里某处,等着看我的脸,等着我醒来,等着我……等着我……

我右手一个不留神,竟死死抓着离我最近的那只野兽。

“他们在哪里?他们到底在哪里?!我那些朋友到底在哪里? 我要找他们,我要看他们!”

“我们就是你的朋友啊!我们在这里等你等了三天三夜,就只希望你能再次睁开眼睛看着我们!”

“……别在骗我了!你们都是一只只野兽,你们想来害我,你们不喜欢我!你以为你声音诚恳,我就会被你骗过去?想得美!说,你把他,你把他带到哪里去了,啊?你到底把他抓到哪里去锁起来了?你把我最心爱的他带到哪里去了?!”

“小姐,请你冷静下来好吗?你得让医生检查你的……” 他妈的,那该死的巫婆,一身白袍,莫非要我喝……

“你别叫我冷静!我知道,你要让我喝孟婆汤还是什么的对吗?我跟你说,还要说得清清楚楚,我是不会让你叫我喝孟婆汤,我要找到他!你把他还给我,还给我!”

心,被撕成千片万片,被刺穿千针万针。生与死,我已不在乎。生与死,我已不想分清、没心思分清、没理由、没必要分清。

但是,他不会仍下我一个人不管的。他答应过我,一定会保护我,不让我受伤,不让我流泪。他对我立下的山盟海誓,我字字都记在心里。我知道,他一定会遵守诺言的!

“小姐,我求了你,请你冷静……”

“他死了,不会回来找你了。”

他走了。

他不再回来了。

我,再也不能看到他的脸庞,再也握不到他那双大而温暖的双手,再也听不到他的声音。

我,再也不能拥有他,而只能在心里那痛楚的地方,永远活在他的死去在心上烙印着的伤疤、悲痛、怨恨。

生,似乎太在意、太痛苦。

死,似乎太浪费、太麻木。

生与死之间,既是伤口所带来的痛苦、眼泪,也是浪费时间、精力所带来的剩余的岁月、生命的警惕。

世界上,没什么值得留恋的。地狱里,没什么值得向往的。

两者都一样,只是生带痛、死带麻。

痛,与麻木,哪个更可怕、吓人、令人恐惧?

心窝里,出奇的空荡。脑子里,出奇的妄想。人性又一次被模糊,天使与恶魔又一次地侵犯我的思想,在我思维上展开一场厮杀……

我的心,到底还能为谁跳动?

我的存在,到底还有什么意义、价值?

与其回忆,倒不如深睡一场。至少深睡,代表我能平静的活下。就算没人看见我梦里所活出的春天,就算没人愿意承认我梦里的生活,我也心甘情愿。

只求能再看他多一眼。只求能在梦里与他相遇。只求……

梦里没有生死,没有生命追求所带来的挣扎。

梦里没有现实,也没有人们一口咬定的虚假。

梦,原来是那么出奇的好。

我对野兽们一笑,感叹道:“我们梦里再相会。暂且就此告别了!”

闭上双目,等待着他,等待着迎接另一个春天,等待着我新生命的起点。
Want to cry liao T.T @ 6:18 PM

I swear I am going to cry soon.
How the hell am I going to squeeze all those crap using a 0.5 blue pen?
I need 0.1 pen, dude. 0.1.
O.O @ 9:05 AM
Lyricssssssssa @ 7:51 AM
Dark Chest of Wonders--Nightwish
Once I had a dream
And this is it

Once there was a child`s dream
One night the clock struck twelve
The window open wide
Once there was a child`s heart
The age I learned to fly
And took a step outside

Once I knew all the tales
It`s time to turn back time
Follow the pale moonlight
Once I wished for this night
Faith brought me here
It`s time to cut the rope and fly

Fly to a dream
Far across the sea
All the burdens gone
Open the chest once more
Dark chest of wonders
Seen through the eyes
Of the one with pure heart
Once so long ago

The one in the Big Blue is what the world stole from me
This night will bring him back to me

Fly to a dream...

Higher than Hope--Nightwish
ime it took the most of me
And left me with no key
To unlock the chest of remedy
Mother, the pain ain`t hurting me
But the love that I feel
When you hold me near

The hopes were high
The choirs were vast
Now my dreams are left to live through you

Red Sun rising
Drown without inhaling
Within, the dark holds hard

Passiontide
An angel by my side
But no Christ to end this war
To deliver my soul from the sword
Hope has shown me a scenery
Paradise poetry
With first snow I`ll be gone

The hopes were high
The choirs were vast
Now my dreams are left to live through you

Red Sun rising
Drown without inhaling
Within, the dark holds hard
Red Sun rising
Curtain falling
Higher than hope my cure lies

[I would just like to think that, it's not why it happened to me. But why was I saved? What else can I do now?]

Your death saved me

[Being in the dark about something, I can’t even tell you how scary it is. You don’t know what’s inside; you don’t know what’s going to happen to you. The best way to put somebody at ease is to inform them, even if it’s the grim truth.]

Red Sun rising
Drown without inhaling
Within, the dark holds hard
Red Sun rising
Curtain falling
Higher than hope my cure lies

Red Sun rising
Drown without inhaling
Within, the dark holds hard
Red Sun rising
Curtain falling
Higher than hope my cure lies

Dead Gardens
The story behind the painting I drew is already told
No more tearstains on the pages of my diary
Tired but unable to give up since I`m
Responsible for the lives I saved

The play is done
The curtain`s down

All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens

My song is little worth anymore
Time to lay this weary pen aside

The play is done
The curtain`s down

" Where are the wolves, the underwater moon
The elvenpath, the haven of youth
Lagoons of the starlit sea

Have I felt enough for one man`s deed?
Or is it time to challenge the Ancient of Days
And let the virgin conceive"

All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens

Meow. Went to Borders at Orchard before going to Kwave yesterday. Borders...the books...Wow for content, ouch for price. Kwave was cancelled due to low feedback which was due to the early rain=.=

Went to Burger King and crapped like siao. I mean it. Full of obscene stuff like South Park Chinpokomon, The Movie itself, etc etc. Made a "Barbie Doll" out of a bottle, a drink cap, a plastic bag and two forks. Me, being as sick as usual...ok nvm >.<

After that Syamil they all left to Suntec Convention Centre while me, Su Hang, Wei Ren and Jun Yup (I told him about it=.=) went to this shop for something Su Hang wanted, but she did not find it. Sennheiser earphones galore!!!

Yadda blah, went to Used Music Depot, found nothing much, still deciding which one to buy for myself. Bought this earrings for $2, supposedly 3 for $5, but don't feel like spending money.

Around 6pm we decided to go home. The walk from Marina Square to City Hall MRT is simply a pain for me. Oh well. Jun Yup who went to the toilet took forever to come back. When he did, he whispered some weird thing to Wei Ren, and Su Hang was like "I bet they are going to spill it." Not knowing what that implied, I just laughed.

Next thing I know, he gave me this white cat as an uber belated birthday present O.O

Meow lar.

The bus from Jurong East Library to my house took only 6 minutes, the shortest of all. Amazing little number of people boarded the bus, amazing traffic lights that seemed to be in our favour. Yay us xD
Saturday, August 9, 2008
ROFL @ 7:39 AM
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1817059

Weezer--Pork And Beans
They say
I need some Rogaine
To put in my hair
Work it out at the gym
To fit my underwear
Oakley makes the shades
That transform a tool
You'd hate
Ffor the kids to think
That you lost your cool

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

Everyone likes to dance
To a happy song
(Hey, hey)
With a catchy chorus and beat
So they can sing along
(Hey, hey)
Timbaland knows the way
To reach the top of the charts
Maybe if I work with him
I can perfect the art

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think

No I don't care
I don't care

I'mma do the things
That I wanna do
I ain't got a thing
To prove to you
I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear
The clothes that you like
I'm finally dandy
With the me inside
One look in the mirror
And I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot
About what you think
Totally different?

O.O at above video. God knows why I am freaking addicted to it.

Yesterday was damn fun and o.o. Parade was alright, the quiz...Year 2s were trying their best to save up points, but seems like the host only wanted 1 tie-breaker and not 2. Oh well. The singing was much more enthu then I would expect (thanks to Tricia and Josephine :D) Amanda joined in afterwards, and shoulder to shoulder, we sang! Was singing spoof version of "This is hell, truly" XD

Went up to CO Room. Whacking red paper is fun xD Also did a CO version of the marching. Vivian, Su Chang and Cheryl whacked the drums while me and Ting were marching. YS was playing "(Twinkle)^2 Little Star" with the erhu=.= And it actually fits! o.o After that me and Amanda "locked" YS up in the CO Room, then he "unlocked" it by himself! XDXD

Planned to play cards with YS, but was drawn by ice mocha. Amanda bought one also, then Gabriel said something about SMO results, so we went to check it out. I actually got a bronze!!! Amanda got a bronze also!!! Tricia got a bronze also!!! Su Hang got a silver!!! I actually got something!!! To quote ys: You need the training. Meaning, I have potential? xD Jkjk.

Yadda blah, left YS and Gabriel to freak out by themselves. YS tied with the second person, "I did not get first damn it!". Gabriel lost 1 mark, 导致他终身遗憾, "I am together with the idiotes who got 11 marks! Stupid angle (chasing?)" Sighs xD

Yadda blah, then we went to play hearts. Amanda had to go home, but at least she learnt a new game (yay). So me, YS, Leyi and someone played Hearts, Leyi and someone being beginners. And guess what/

Leyi shot the moon. Twice.

YS did it once, thanks to my Jack of Diamonds. It freaking saved him! (Yes I am not obliged to, but I happened to, thanks to my suckiest memory ><) Tricia read New Moon (Tricia, I swear the storyline is WTH) Ewin was playing Solitaire, Dai Di and stacking card towers by herself. Jun Yup was there watching.

1.20pm (how long did we play?!) then we walked to MRT station. Tricia decided to eat lunch at Macs, me and Leyi scissors-paper-stoned to Macs also, YS went home for his lunch, Jun Yup tagged along. McSpicy! is as big and too full for me as usual. But BBQ sauce rocks :)

After that Tricia topped up her EZ-link card, the three of us went to Jurong East. Then OMGWTFBBQLDKHW it was already 2.45pm. Decided not to follow Leyi, went to IMM with Jun Yup, bought a new jacket (black once again, sorry). No more $6 shirt offers! (Because they had new stocks, which thank goodness include good shorts also. I should look at their jeans one day and learn to appreciate them=.=)

Went library to do homework. Finished chinese (wow me), wanted to do Math, got some weird answers, gave up and realise Geography and Biology required research. The wireless was dying on me, so chiong-ed 100+ pages of New Moon instead. =.=

Went home at 7pm. Got this ancient Chinese scroll of 3 cats!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very very fat ones!!!!!!!!!!! Fluffy, fat, white cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 So freaking fat and cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! >.<

Fell asleep while watching the Opening Ceremony. God knows how many countries were there=.=

Waking up can be freaky sometimes. Looks at clock, 7. Looks at sky, looks more like 7pm then 7am. But now the sun's out :)

Yesterday pwned. Thanks tons dudes and dudettes :D
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The story @ 8:36 PM
剧痛,剧痛。

一个十八岁的少女,想起身到底有多难?莫非我得了关节炎?那绝不可能,因为什么病的痛,都比不上这个……

痛,与麻木,哪个更可怕、吓人、令人恐惧?

心窝里,出奇的空荡。脑子里,出奇的妄想。人性又一次被模糊,天使与恶魔又一次地侵犯我的思想,在我思维上展开一场厮杀……

To be continued. Need time to concentrate.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
影子背后的影子 @ 8:34 PM
Weird title.

Shall work on it.

It is falling off.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
@ 8:37 PM

一片黑暗中,我在寻觅着什么?希望还是失望?

两者都不存在。似乎,唯一的出路就是死亡。

“你一定要撑住!你听到吗,一定要撑住!我隐隐约约听到一个声音不断地对我叫着。声音多么的熟悉、多么的焦虑、多么的亲切……

我一个劲的像努力起身,但我越出力,我就离声音越远。我的天啊?这到底是怎样的地狱?!

……

我向前轻轻走了一步。没动静。

我又向前多一步。没动静。

我向前疯狂奔去。突然间一双手死死的抓住双脚。我动弹不得。

“你再移动多一步,死。”

“怎么了?我在黑暗中移动,与你何干?”

“我就不要你走。留下来,别离开我!”双手一瞬间从背后紧抱着我,令我窒息。

“放开我!你想干吗?!”

“你别无选择了!跟着我,我会把你带向一个更好的未来!”

“你能干吗?我早已不信任你,早已对你无任何指望!你要我说几次才明白?!”

“你……”

这眼前的禽兽,毫不留情地往我胸口插了一刀,可我一滴血也没留。因为不关心有没有出血都一样:心里还是一样的痛。

“你想要我死?那也好,我留着也没什么意义!杀我啊,难道我怕你?!”

“你想死?等着吧!我怎样宰了你,你还不了解吗?还是你不愿理解?放心,你不会死的!我会慢慢地、慢慢地,把你的心一片一片的刮下来!那,才是我要的!

眼前一片亮光闪过,那银刀从未那么耀眼过。我闭上眼睛,接着一声嘶吼在黑暗中回荡。在张开眼,我那期盼已久的血滴还是没流出来。

“好失望啊!没有丝毫血迹,你不介意吗?”

他狂笑一声,走了。

没人影了!走了!

你一定要撑住!你听到吗,一定要撑住!那声音在脑中回荡、在心里波动、在心灵上,厮杀。

无情?何谓无情?

答案,也许是。


Some weird thingy I wrote. Don't ask.

Friday, August 1, 2008
Epic awesomeness @ 9:00 PM
So I called YS at 5.59pm.

"So do we need to meet up tomorrow for physics?" That was what I yelled.

From there it evolved to some kinda hyper reaction between me and Amanda, involving meows (duh), Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and the most fun part: Guessing where the hell we were!

First we said we were sitting on a green thing, then we said we were sitting on a white thing. Next, I got Amanda to zonk me, and there were echoes. He asked questions like "Which region of Singapore are you at?" and the main question "Where the hell are you??!!" Answer is:

"Somewhere in the Milky Way!"

"Somewhere in the Solar System!"

"Somewhere on Earth!!!"

"Somewhere on...Singapore!!!!!!!!! XD"

The next clue that he got from us was: It is a place that he is supposed to know, and a place we "kinda" hang out often.

Another thing was that a motorcycle passed by.

He guessed the West Coast Park (wth?!), Science Centre (wthh?!?!?) but it's wrong.

It was after a very very long time that we mentioned a very very important clue: We are moving!

Then there was this time when YS faced confusion (there were lots of cars, buses, etc around us), and another time when it was totally noisy.

Only when he heard this "Doors are closing *beep*. Next station: Jurong East Interchange." Then he got it.

Apparently the green (and white) thing we were sitting on is the sofa at the Student Lounge, and the echoes was the school premises. The motorcycle that passed by was when we were walking towards the MRT station, and the confusion was when we were crossing the road. The noisy part was us at the station.

So. After that we changed to the red line, and guess what.

Amanda was talking to ys all this while, and he thought it was me. He was frantically asking me "Where is Amanda?"

Apparently, he can't tell who is who over the handphone.

EPIC! Ends up in complete laughter after 1 hour 10 minutes of entertainment.

Feeling much better now, and slightly rebellious.

High Voltage--Linkin Park
Just do something to tell you who I am, ya know?

It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out

I've been taking into crates ever since I was livin in space
Before the ratrace, before monkeys had human traits
Mastered numerology and bigbang theology
Performed lobotomies with telekinetic psychology
Invented the mic so I could start blessin it
And chincheckin kids to make my point like an impressionist
Many men have tried to shake us
But I twist mic cords to double helixes and show them what I'm made of
I buckle knees like leg braces
Cast the spell of instrumental-ness and all of the emcees that hate us
So try on, leave you without a shoulder to cry on
From now to infinity let icons be bygones
I fire bomb ghostly notes haunt this
I've tried threats but moved on to a promise
I stomp shit with or without an accomplis
(Mixed media)
The stamp of approval is on this

It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out

Akira, put a kink in the backbones of clones with microphones
Never satisfy my rhyme jones
Sprayin bright day over what you might say
Blood type krylon
Technicolor type A
On highways right with road rage I'm patient to win
The cage and the tin to bounce all around
In surround sound devouring the scene
Subliminal gangrene paintings
Overall the same things sing songs karaoke copy madness
Break bones verbally with sticks and stone tactics
Fourth dimension, combat convention
Write rhymes at ease while the tracks stand at attention (Attention)
Meant to put you away with the pencil
Pistol, official, 16 line rhyme missile
While you risk it all, I pick out of your flaws
Spin, blah blah blah blah
You can say you saw

It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out

It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out
It's high voltage you cant shake the shock
Because nobody wants it to stop, check it out

So...I am one who can be trusted? I really deserve to be?

Thought I am one who used to disappoint people again and again. At least, I disappoint myself every single time.

I think my mind can't take myself sooner or later. My mind is sure to go "burst" and there goes my sanity. It would have left me for good.