Wednesday, October 17, 2007
>< @ 11:27 AM
I hate this.

Out of all the days my laptop had to be screwed up on the day before French project. Then I was like what the hell. Okay so no choice had to call Yan Sheng to ask him to do the project=( then I am supposed to call him at certain times to check on him. Then I called punctually except for the last one, when I am supposed to call at 9.15pm. At 9pm I felt so tired and sian thanks to my laptop so I fell asleep, thinking that I would wake up, which I did not.

Then this morning when Yan Sheng came to school he asked me why I did not call him, and then Tricia they all were like "woo" and blah blah blah. Gah>< why they all always bully me derh??!! Only call for project also got problem...felt like strangling him...

But calling him is fun. Especially when you have a screaming sister in the phone. She is interesting, and I feel like seeing her. She must be a fun person. I shall see who can scream louder=D Muahaha. All ears beware.

"With you, everyday is a sunny day. No matter how big the rain is, it will never put out the love between us."

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Tuesday, October 9, 2007
My ears @ 8:18 PM
In school, my ears suffer for some people.
At home, my ears suffer thanks to someone who's so freaking bossy.

Like yaright she knows everything-.-fine whatever. If she wants to say that she has bigger authority, or that she is correct, I can admit. But that does not mean you can dismiss ALL my ideas! Trying to treat a 13 year-old kid like 8 year-old is completely stupid. You WILL end up nowhere. Nowhere as in hatred. Grrr.

I cannot stand freaking people with a stupid attitude, thinking that whatever they say MUST be correct...now I feel like slapping myself. I performed so ****ing badly and I can still smile. Ya right. I still feel hypocritical. Left traumatized, alone in this hell world. What's expected to be expected? Trapped in a self-maze, trying and struggling to get out when I only end up deeper inside a dead end. In fact this maze ends not on top or bottom. It ends in the middle, right in the middle of my heart, where I can stab myself happily and say that hey I am still breathing!

Shit myself. I already need TONS of catching up when I still say that other people sux. Get what I mean by hypocritical? I don't feel like a rubbish on the world. But my heart is like wood compared to other people's hearts that are made of marble.

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Sunday, September 23, 2007
Doubt and trust @ 11:57 AM
Doubt and trust. They are related the way genius and evil is related. Which means, their definition is the difference of only one line. I, now, am finding myself standing on that thin strand of line. Miss a step and I will fall down, either to doubt or trust. Lots of times I wish, I hope and I find myself in trust, but sometimes fate just wants to play with me and pushes me to doubt. Like why? Why am I always standing on that line of "boundary" when it is just a difference of that freaking one line? Why do I always land myself in this state when I know I may just fall down any moment and hurt myself? Why can't I just make a choice out of the two which seem completely opposite, but is actually opposite just because of ONE line? Why choose to doubt when I know trust hurts me much lesser?

At times I feel myself struggling between the two and then I realize I am fighting with myself.

If I wasn't born that emotional. Which I am.

If I wasn't even a girl in the first place. Which I am too.

I may just save myself so much trouble thinking over nothing.

One for all, all for one. One definition for all lovers, all my thoughts for one person.

I was the one who chose to struggle within myself. I know it, yet I still choose it.

Wake up from your dreams to find out it is actually a nightmare. Break all hell loose and realize you were dreaming all this while. If the concept of time and place had never existed, what would the world become? Much happier, or...

Something bad happens to you and you think you have been cursed by someone. When the true fact is that you choose to think that you have been cursed. Like 13 Friday. FIRST you say it is unlucky, THEN you TRY to associate them with ALL the BAD things. But if you cancel away all these associations and look at all the other days you realise that bad things do happen on other days too! It's just that you CHOOSE to associate them so closely.

Hell and Heaven, Heaven and Hell. They seem like two worlds, but I don't regard them as two complete places (or names). Bring me to Hell and I can call it Heaven. Bring me to Heaven and I can call it Earth. Bring me to Earth and I can call it Venus. All these because of names. If I call the planet I am sitting on now Venus you can call me insane, but that is only because I called the wrong name. If we take away all these names, if we take away all the definitions connected to the places we visual and see you will realise it doesn't matter at all.

Stories about the devil liking the angel always exist. It just seems like so impossible out of impossible. But haven't you learn that the positive and negative attract? Are you trying to deny the fact that cations attract anions? Are you trying to say that cations and anions repel and they will cause precipitation?

After saying all this shit I choose to think I am a hypocrite. I choose to think all my friends as angels and myself as a hypocrite. So much for trying to make people accept me.

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Saturday, September 22, 2007
Random @ 6:35 PM
Random MSN convo.

Me: I was picking mangoes from the mango tree just now.
Ting: !!!
Ting: nice
Me: realised I should be grateful for the mangoes I eat.
Ting: lol
Ting: we should be grateful for everything we have in this world.
Me: yup
Me: for example: the chance for us to know a genius named Yan Sheng
Ting: lol
Me: =X
Ting: GEPer
Ting: hmph.

More like I should be grateful that MOE made A* 85 instead of 91, that's why I made it to NUSH. Or most likely grateful that Prof Lai actually set up this school for all my friends to come. Without NUSH, I wonder where we would be now.

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Amazing @ 4:22 PM
The internet here is amazingly good.
But typical Fridays always suck. Always.

  1. AE: Principal's dialogue. Ya right as if it were interesting.
  2. Lit lesson: Regrets not taking Lit. And chiong-ed my 私函。Gawd.
  3. Chinese: The test sucked. He had never been that strict in his marking. Yu Jia got highest 63 out of 70. Finally. And 101 was freaking noisy. Hao Jing/ Yichen/ Hao Jing+Yichen you are dead.
  4. Math: "All boys are clever. Clever people are handsome. Thus all boys are clever." Knock knock Mr Lee. Where were you when you were typing this?
  5. Lunch: I am gonna do that for a century. Don't ask.
  6. Track: Damn slack these days. * ***** * **** ****** *** **** ****.

As for the different fonts, don't ask.

Realised in this school o2jam seems more influential than Audition. Shows that o2jam rocks. Feel like having an anti-Audition group. Joking. But what is sure is that Audition which once seems nice to me is not nice anymore. Somehow. Maybe because of the hackers. It suck. Even French is more fun than it. XP

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